Prologue
I was sprinting down an office building hallway in the dead of night.
Behind me, a crowd of salarymen and office ladies chased in eerie silence. Their faces were devoid of any expression—no humanity. Simply put, they were terrifying.
“Uh, this is REALLY bad!!”
I shouted into the headset mic clipped to my ear, my voice louder than intended.
“You hearing this, Eli-san!?”
[It’s not Eli.]
A woman’s crisp voice replied through the headphones.
[Address me as ‘Your Majesty.’]
Mid-conversation, a woman in a skirt came sprinting toward me—along the wall, parallel to the floor, like some track star defying gravity.
What the hell?! I kept running, but she kicked off the wall and lunged at me.
We crashed onto the floor, tangled together.
The real shock came after. Her face was inches from mine—and her eyes, even the whites, were pitch black.
“GYAAAAH!!” I screamed, shoved her off, and bolted again.
“Your Majesty, her eyes were BLACK! The whites too—completely black!!”
[If even the whites of her eyes were black…]
Her Majesty’s tone was unnervingly calm.
[That’s terrifying. Yeah, super terrifying.]
“EXACTLY! That’s what I’ve been SAYING!!”
Her Majesty was outside the building, in a square decorated with a Christmas tree, giving me instructions over the call.
The sheer disconnect in our moods was ridiculous.
[Relax. The stars are beautiful tonight.]
“NOT the time for small talk!!”
I’m not in a position to do that.
“What IS this?! Wasn’t this supposed to be another cozy little job?!”
Normally, Her Majesty and I run a convenience-service business—[British Shop]—on the outskirts of Tokyo’s uptown.
She dreams of turning it into a stylish detective agency, but locals see it as a cute side gig run by a pretty girl.
So, our requests are always harmless stuff—finding lost cats, minding fruit stands, even filling in for missing players in a local baseball game.
The worst was consoling a heartbroken girl at a family restaurant. I spent the whole night stifling yawns while nodding along. Her Majesty just stared out the window, munching on fries.
Not exactly glamorous, but it had its charm.
A stunning older-sister type and a slightly airheaded high schooler like me.
Our daily life was quirky and fun.
I thought we’d keep cruising like this forever.
So I was thinking, ‘I’m going to do something easy, woohoo!’
“I’m being chased by CREEPY PEOPLE here!!”
This job started with a keychain.
Our client is a first-year high school girl. Apparently, while she was riding the train, a man who looked like a salaryman took the keychain that was attached to her bag.
The girl clearly saw the name of his workplace on the ID card hanging from his neck. The man worked at an office building in the city center.
And fortunately, we were tea-drinking buddies with a cleaning lady who worked at that office building. As we handle our usual odd little jobs, we get to know all sorts of people (Her Majesty calls this our “citizen network”).
The cleaning lady promptly checked while cleaning the office, sneaking glances here and there, and confirmed that the keychain was in the drawer of the man’s desk and let us know.
We immediately took the train for about fifteen minutes and headed to downtown.
The target building was forty-eight stories tall, with an observation room that was open to the general public. And apparently the keychain was on the fortieth floor.
As Her Majesty’s hands and feet, I hid in the observation room in the evening and waited for nightfall.
After closing time, making absolutely sure it was past midnight, I made my move. From the darkened, silent observation room, I went down the emergency stairs to the floors below and entered the dark office.
I was just supposed to open the desk drawer, take the keychain, and head back.
Normally, that would be the end of it. “Your Majesty, how about treating me to something delicious?” would be how it’d go, but this time—.
“He is DEAD!!”
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[Who?]
“The guy! The guy!!”
The man who had apparently stolen the keychain from the high school girl was slumped over his desk.
I had a bad feeling just seeing him in that state in the pitch-dark office, but when I suspiciously shook his shoulder, sure enough, he collapsed from his chair.
The man fell on his back, and both his eyes were dark, empty hollows, giving off smoke with a burnt smell.
I thought “Uwaaaa!” but immediately noticed something strange about my surroundings.
The office lights were off, making it completely dark. And yet—.
There were people sitting at every desk. Men in suits, women in office casual attire, all sitting silently with perfect posture, like mannequins.
That’s an extremely abnormal scene. Genuinely scary.
“I-I’ll just take the keychain and go~”
At the very moment I whispered this and tried to touch the keychain.
All the seated salarymen simultaneously twisted their necks to look at me. It wasn’t just the lighting—everyone’s eyes were pitch black. And then they lunged at me.
I desperately dashed into the hallway and am now running away.
That’s my current situation.
“Your Majesty, what are these guys?!”
[Hmm]
Her Majesty pauses thoughtfully before saying.
[I don’t really know]
In the middle of this conversation, there’s a booming sound that resonates in my stomach, and at that moment, the glass partition in my field of vision shatters into pieces.
Looking back, among the salarymen, there’s one police officer in uniform.
And that police officer is looking at me with those pitch-black eyes, pointing his gun barrel in my direction.
If I keep running straight, I’ll be an easy target.
Instinctively, I body-slammed a wooden door. The moment I broke through the door and entered the room, another gunshot echoed in the hallway.
I went deeper into the room and hid under a desk.
Before long, the group of salarymen entered the room. Seemingly unable to feel pain, they were gripping the glass shards from earlier with their bare hands. Then they started looking for me, turning over everything on the desks.
[Quite a commotion]
“This is no joke for me!”
[I’m the type of Majesty who enjoys looking out the window from inside on rainy days to boost my mood]
“I bet you are!”
Her Majesty is relaxed, being outside. I’m trying to figure out how to escape this situation.
Just then, for a moment, the entire floor goes quiet.
Am I saved?
Thinking that, I cautiously peeked out to check the situation.
The police officer who had been waiting for me to show my face fired his gun again. I quickly pulled my head back as fragments of a broken display rained down on me.
The salarymen and office ladies who noticed my position started to surround me.
“Your Majesty, what should I do~?!”
[Well, first, let’s try negotiation]
“That’s too leisurely~”
[A gentleman should resolve matters through dialogue]
“I’m just a high school student! A part-timer!”
And, I continue into my earpiece.
“Negotiation is impossible. These guys are grabbing glass with their bare hands and attacking!?”
[Is that so—]
Her Majesty’s tone suddenly turns cold.
[They attacked without even attempting to talk first?]
“Yes, they even shot at me! They’re bad people!”
[That’s—quite poor manners]
Ah.
I think her switch just flipped.
Even through the call, I could tell Her Majesty’s expression had changed.
[Unlike you, I don’t believe movies hold truth, but there was a line in a movie we watched together that I thought was indeed correct]
I have an idea of what line Her Majesty is thinking of. It’s a British saying that’s also the motto of an Oxford University dormitory.
Her Majesty speaks it.
[Manners maketh man]
In other words, Her Majesty is saying:
She doesn’t like people who attack without warning. So—.
[You teach them some manners]
“I figured it would come to this~!!”
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