The Injuries of the Three Heroes and Countermeasure Equipment
After that, feeling good, I went straight back to the inn.
Raina was worried about me on my way back, but I wasn’t so drunk that I was vomiting all over the place. I was more worried about Raina walking alone at night after seeing me off. I just accepted her concern and went back to my room, reminiscing about the taste of whiskey as I fell asleep.
I had decided on my plans for the next day. I was going to take on the cleaning duties to tidy up the mess in the streets from the festival.
The outdoor eating manners were no comparison to Shibuya’s Halloween. Everywhere looked like a lawless wasteland, and I couldn’t imagine living in a city like this. I had to at least clean up the paths I frequently used.
However, when I went to the guild, I unexpectedly found Dick Vault and the others there.
The vice-leader Alectra also looked hungover and miserable, but she was fully geared up and had arrived earlier.
The bigwigs of the Sword of Harvest guild were all assembled for some reason.
When I casually asked what was going on, it seemed they were dealing with a situation more serious than I had imagined.
“Three guild members were injured…oh man…”
“They received healing, so there’s no worry of after-effects. I was careless…I should have provided better guidance…”
Apparently, three male guild members were injured yesterday. They belonged to different parties with no connection, except perhaps drinking at the guild yesterday.
I don’t know what exactly happened.
However, the three men had one thing in common – they had each inserted a sword hilt into their own anus, and it got stuck.
“Fortunately, they were short swords. If they had been long swords, there could have been an even greater tragedy…”
“Guild leader, please don’t tell such vulgar stories. My head already hurts enough as it is. That’s enough…”
In other words, yeah.
Those guys.
They pursued some unknown pleasure and ended up sticking short swords up their own asses.
Of course, they wouldn’t admit to it themselves.
“Huh? No, we were just drunkenly messing around, you know? Before we knew it, they got stuck and we couldn’t pull them out.”
That’s what they claimed, apparently.
But on the same day, three men had to rush to the clinic with short swords stuck up their asses. It’s unbelievable that such a hellish prank could happen to three people at once.
I feel bad for the healer who had to deal with them that day. I hope it wasn’t Caspar on duty at the time.
I’m really grateful this world has healers and potions. If we didn’t have those, they might have died with the short swords still stuck up their asses. In the world of the Three Kingdoms era, they would have easily died of some infection before that, an unspeakable humiliation.
Even if it was the alcohol talking, I’m relieved no one died because of the subject I brought up. If someone died because of me, I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. Only an ass would feel that way. Hahaha…It’s not funny.
By the way, the three men who had to visit the clinic this time are now known as the “Legol Three Heroes.” I really couldn’t care less about that from the bottom of my heart.
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“We must prevent the emergence of a second or third ‘Three Heroes.’ Humans pursue pleasure…but without the proper knowledge, it can lead to intense pain or even disaster. To avoid repeating this tragedy, I intend to work on raising awareness about inserting foreign objects for a while.”
“Yeah…I guess you’re right…If anyone gets hurt, the aftermath would be the worst for me too…”
“There’s nothing wrong with you Mongrels. Humans are beings that pursue pleasure…It’s just that those of us who walk the path have an obligation to properly guide those who follow. That’s all there is to it.”
“Sorry, but could you stop treating me like I’m ahead of you?”
“So, I decided to post this on the bulletin board. It’s a compilation of precautions for inserting foreign objects. Alectra helped me out, and we just finished it.”
“Listen, Mongrel…The guild leader keeps trying to add useless advice…”
“…Good work.”
The small parchment poster concisely summarized the precautions for anal play.
Insert things that can be safely removed. Avoid anything not smooth. Also, when doing so, use a purified lubricant made by diluting Jelly Slime paste with water…What is that, Jelly Slime has that kind of use too? But engaging in that kind of act the day after the Harvest Festival doesn’t seem right. Turning the embodiment of the moon into a paste and sticking it up your ass sounds like an evil witch ritual.
“Exploring the unknown is not a bad thing. However, we guild members should not approach it recklessly. We should always take every precaution and proceed carefully…even if that progress is slow…”
He’s saying something reasonable, but we’re talking about sticking things up asses here…
“Ahh, why are men so stupid? I can’t believe even the smart Mongrel is an idiot.”
“I’m not going to stick weird things up my ass…”
“At least for now.”
“No, that’s really how it is. Stop giving me that look.”
However, I didn’t want more guild members ending up with wrecked asses because of me. Not out of any sense of shame or apology, I just simply didn’t want that.
To avoid being called “The man who completely destroyed the asses of the Legol guild members” in the future, I should hop on this nasty enlightenment campaign early on…
“So basically, they got stuck because they inserted oddly shaped objects. But if they use something designed for safety, it’ll be fine, right?”
“Hey Mongrel, I thought you were going to stop this!”
“Well, I may be an idiot, but guys who want to do it will do it…”
Even in my previous world, there were normal guys who ended up needing a doctor after sticking weird things up their asses.
Pens were still pretty normal, but batteries or acorns were on the extreme side…
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