The surrounding men cheered in a frenzy – the opening act of an extremely low-IQ battle of wits.
“Listen up! This is a prime bit of info…If you go directly to the lady on Kegare Street, she’ll put out for cheaper than the going rates!”
“For real…?!”
“As expected of the Bargainer Nate! To think he can get that notorious cheap whore for even less!”
“Cheapskate!”
“Shut it!”
“Kuh…Then here’s one for you! The girls at the ‘Goddess’ Barn’…’take it orally’!”
“Wha…?!”
“- The winner is Luranzo!”
“Aw yeah!”
“Wha…I lost…?!”
“- Negotiating prices has its merits…but quality service information cannot be obtained without paying. You neglected the basics, Nate.”
“Riiight, so 4 slices for Luranzo, and 1 for Nate.”
God, I really can’t bear listening to this.
The topics are mostly the red-light district and brothels, but some are visceral first-hand accounts, adding an extra layer of hellishness. I can practically feel the heat radiating over from them…
But damn…that cured ham looks good. Dammit, why does it have to smell so incredible? You over-cured it Granny Margot…Seriously, just take my money and sell me some…
“Hey Mongrel, you’re just sitting over there drinking all prim and proper! Ain’t gonna join the fray? Or what, can’t talk about brothels when cute girls are around?”
“I’ll participate.”
“Whoa whoa, buckling already…Wait, seriously?! You’re gonna do it?!”
“Yeah. Because I want that cured ham.”
“For real, Mongrel-senpai…?”
“Uh…”
You all have the wrong idea.
I’m not against talking about that kind of stuff just because girls are present.
Especially for cured ham! Cured ham that might be like the ham from my previous life – I’d turn into a total lewd alien for a chance at that!
Sorry Raina, Ulrika. Ideally, I’d appreciate if you didn’t witness…this version of me.
“- So you’ve steeled your resolve, Mongrel.”
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
Dick Vault and I nodded at each other. What is this feeling?
“…In that case, your opponent will be me!”
“No Chuck, you’re the cured ham supplier here.”
“Don’t screw with me! You’re just gonna take those 4 slices back to that table with the girls and have a lively old time, ain’t ya?! You think I’m gonna let that slide?!”
“You really are a sad, lonely man…”
“Shut it!”
Well, I don’t really care who my opponent is.
“Oh? But Mongrel, did you actually visit brothels and stuff?”
I shook my head at Alex’s question.
“I went to what seemed like the highest-end place a couple times. The kind with a private bathhouse.”
“…Seriously…?”
“- The ‘Golden Chalice of Honey Mead’, was it not?”
“Quit calling out the name, it’s creepy!”
“A rich guy, huh?! That just makes it even more unforgivable!”
“Oh yeah, what were the girls like by the way?”
“Well, I just had them wash my body in the bathhouse, so I didn’t really get a good look at the girls.”
“What kind of answer is that?!”
“As expected, you really are a weirdo!”
“…So you were just there for the bath, huh.”
Actually, I did intend to get off with one of them, but the girl had really hairy armpits which was a total turn-off for me.
Not sure why exactly…just a personal preference, I guess? But for some reason it was an absolute deal-breaker…
“Mongrel…You think you can beat me with just that kind of experience? You’re underestimating me way too much!”
“Don’t worry Chuck. When it comes to lewd knowledge, I’ve got more than enough!”
“Just visiting a brothel bath makes you real confident, huh?! There’s no way this veteran is losing to an amateur virgin like you! But I’ll let you go first!”
“Chuck is opening with the first attack!”
“This is it…”
Wait, is this a game with first-attack advantage?
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
“I’m going to use one of my best…Listen up. At the ‘Blissful Company’ inn…there are girls with amazing techniques who’ll service you for cheap!”
“–Milia-chan, huh?”
“Do you know her, Mr. Dick Vault!”
“Ah… this is becoming a tough situation for Mongrel, isn’t it?”
What the hell! It’s supposed to be perverted trivia, but it’s just local info about brothels!
Who’s this Milia-chan? By the way, is she cute?
“Now what will you do, Mr. Mongrel…!”
You just put Milia-chan in attack position and ended your turn – what’s with that confidence? Is Milia-chan such good stuff? I’m getting curious…
But no. However…
…You’re naive.
These guys are just amateurs who’ve only accumulated perverted knowledge through hearsay and limited experience…
You guys… do you really think…
You can beat me, someone who’s been steeped in Japan’s information-age perverted culture?
“My turn. Listen well…” even men… “can climax from their nipples!”
“Huh, what are you…”
At that moment, Dick Vault’s eyes flew wide open!
“–Winner, Mongrel!”
“What…!? How can this be!?”
“No way, Mr. Dick Vault!?”
“How…!?”
“Mongrel speaks no lies– Men’s nipples can’t produce milk, making them the most lewd body parts existing purely for pleasure… I guarantee it!”
“For real? That’s amazing!”
“I heard way more than I wanted to…”
“Oh, r-really… wow…”
“Don’t tell me Mongrel also…?”
“Nah, I just heard it from someone. A passing perverted evangelist told me.”
“What kind of perverted evangelist was that…”
“–Mongrel… it seems I must acknowledge you as a brother-in-arms…?”
“Sorry, but can I decline that offer?”
“–Heh…”
And that’s how I successfully got four slices of ham.
They cut them generously long, so it should be enough as a snack with light ale. Above all, eating too much is bad for your health.
“Hey, I won, you two.”
“…Senpai Mongrel, you’re quite perverted, aren’t you?”
“Hmm… so you’re knowledgeable about such things…”
I won and got some delicious meat.
But when I returned to the table, Raina was looking at me with somewhat cold eyes, and Ulrika’s face was red.
…Have I… lost something important in exchange for getting this ham?
“…Want some share?”
“I do want some.”
“Ah, me too…”
But the ham we ate today was undoubtedly exquisite, and both of them were satisfied with its taste.
For me, that’s more than enough…
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