The festival in my middle school days was spent alone. I had no room to look around, the loneliness consumed me, and I could only clutch my money without being able to buy anything.
“There are so many people.”
“Yes, the food stalls are the main attraction of the festival. We’ll try to eat our way through all of them!”
“Uh, I don’t know what to do, so I’ll leave it to you, Hanazono.”
“By the way, it’s been a while since it’s just the two of us, hasn’t it? You’ve seemed pretty busy lately.”
“That’s true, a lot has happened recently. …But I felt like Hanazono was always watching over me.”
I hadn’t really thought about it deeply, but I found myself thinking about Hanazono whenever I was troubled.
That’s why I was able to act.
“H-hey, don’t say embarrassing things, you idiot! Anyway, you finally remembered our date, huh?”
“What? Hanazono knew I had forgotten?”
I’m surprised. It’s not something I could have said, but…
“Of course! Do you have any idea how much time we’ve spent together?”
“I’m sorry. Let’s truly enjoy our first date today.”
“Huh? First date?”
“Yes, a date. Meeting up with someone you’re interested in and going out together…that’s a date. The previous time was just a rehearsal, wasn’t it?”
I emphasize the word “date.” This is a date. It’s special. It’s not just going out.
“I-I see, then you better properly escort me!”
“Understood, I’ll do my best.”
“Why isn’t it like the previous time?”
……This must be her way of hiding her embarrassment. I see, this is what it means to be shy. It was Hanazono who made me realize this.
I take Hanazono’s hand. It’s not because the crowd is large or I might get lost.
“Grip it firmly. Don’t let go.”
“Ah, well, it’s crowded after all.”
I just didn’t want to let go of Hanazono.
It’s a strange sensation.
“Look, there are candied apples over there!”
“Wait, Hanazono!? Aren’t you going to eat too much? If you do, you won’t be able to have the main takoyaki.”
It feels as if time has stopped. I had the sense that this world with just the two of us would continue.
“It’s fine, I can take some home if I can’t finish. Ah, there’s a shooting game! Tsuyoshi, go try that.”
The stall I couldn’t do in middle school… I’m very interested. Can those small dolls really be taken down with such a tiny gun?
“Hmm, I wonder if I can get it?”
Hanazono looked at me with a serious expression.
“Aha, with that face, I can’t help but take it.”
I loaded a cork into the gun and held it with my left hand. Then–
“Hehe, thanks Tsuyoshi. That panda plushie was so cute, you know?”
It was nothing serious, just a little bit of trickery. Since it was impossible with the gun, I simply used my other hand to forcefully pop the cork. The store owner’s face when the plushie flew up was very comical.
Hanazono put the panda plushie in her bag and turned to face me. Then–
“Hmm.”
“Uh, yeah.”
She reached out her hand again. I didn’t know holding hands could feel so pleasant.
We continued walking up Kagurazaka. The faces of the passersby were filled with smiles. It was a wonderful sight. The happiness of normalcy, which I had longed for but could never attain.
But–
“We’re almost at the shrine. I’ll go pray first!”
“Ah, I see…”
For now, I can forget. I can feel the everyday. Hanazono is by my side. That’s enough.
We arrived at a beautiful little shrine. There were also many food stalls there.
We decided to pray.
I quietly put the offering into the offering box and clasped my hands. It’s more like convincing yourself than expecting your wishes to be granted.
I had never prayed before. I didn’t think anyone’s wishes would come true because I understood that reality is harsh and cruel.
But today was different.
To convey a wish to something. I thought the act itself would enrich the heart.
We let go of our joined hands to pray.
My wish–
I had thought it would be to become normal, but something else came to my mind.
–I want to see Hanazono’s smile.
That was it. I felt my heart lighten.
I released our clasped hands and looked at Hanazono next to me. She was sincerely wishing for something. I didn’t know what it was. Hanazono opened her eyes and noticed my gaze, smiling at me.
“What are you looking at? Let’s go.”
–Hmm, perhaps wishes do come true after all.
I mentally thanked the deity and left the shrine.
“It would be nice if there were fireworks too~”
“Hmm, that’s difficult in the city center. I’ve seen fireworks before, back where I used to live.”
It was one of the few good memories from my elementary school. The school was near the sea, so we could see the fireworks. The loud sounds had surprised me. I didn’t understand what was so great about the chemical sparks at the time. But now I realize it was a very enjoyable and beautiful sight. I suppose how you perceive it depends on your own feelings.
“There are fireworks festivals everywhere in the summer, so we can go then. In fact, we’re definitely going!”
“Ah, I prom- …I see.”
I had a bit of trouble responding. No, I must forget about that now. I should only think about making Hanazono enjoy herself.
Otherwise–
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Hanazono suddenly moved in front of me.
“Hehe, it’s a promise!”
She poked my face with her little finger. I know this gesture. My body automatically responds. I entwined my finger with hers. A promise… A promise must not be broken. The word echoes in my mind, along with the emotions.
“If you lie, I won’t forgive you! Phew… I’m a little tired.”
My heart won’t stop pounding. This emotion is beyond my current ability to handle. That [gentle affection] I had reset before… was truly fleeting.
However, it’s strange. I knew Hanazono was a wonderful girl. And even after the reset, she’s been with me like this.
Yet, this feeling is different. It’s not something that could have grown in just a month.
It feels like a sentiment I’ve cultivated for a long, long time.
I stopped walking, on a side street in Kagurazaka. Children ran by. The sounds of the festival could be faintly heard.
Seeing Hanazono in her yukata, she looked so beautiful, and I didn’t know what to do.
I’ve made her sad so many times. Yet, she’s still here with me.
I grew to like Tanaka. Hanazono cheered me on.
“Hanazono, I…”
“No, Tsuyoshi, I think that’s more like sympathy. You should be happy with Haru-chan.”
Why does Hanazono talk as if I can live a normal life? Why does she believe in me so much?
It’s true that I’ve regained Tanaka’s memories. The reset emotions have grown into new feelings, surpassing the previous ones.
But what is my feeling towards Hanazono?
No, what is this thing called emotion? I, who can [reset] it, am I not a pitiful existence?
Don’t lament–
Don’t falter–
Don’t be sad–
“Of course Tanaka is an important person. But Hanazono is someone who is– “
“Tsuyoshi, let’s go to Shirogane Park over there.”
I nodded in agreement. I had a sense that something was ending.
Sitting on the bench, a gloomy silence spread, very different from before.
I had thought my options were limited.
Listen to Eri and go abroad. Reset my emotions and stabilize my mind. Reset to avoid making others sad.
I couldn’t resist Eri’s physical decision.
I had thought that was the only thing I could do.
[Don’t erase it]
The voice in my heart was screaming —
Hanazono looked at me with a smile. Huh? What’s with that hand? Why are you getting ready? At that speed, wait, why?? — She suddenly slapped my cheek. It really hurt. Why did she hit me?
“I won’t forgive you if you try to reset me again! No matter how many times you reset me, I’ll definitely remember! Even if you go to London, I’ll chase you for the rest of my life! Don’t give me that look! Don’t you dare give up! I’ll never fall in love with you again!”
In that moment, my memories with Hanazono flashed through my mind.
[Are you also bullying me, calling me ugly and fat?]
[No, Hana-chan is an important person. I’ll protect you.]
[Ugh, Tsuyoshi is so annoying.]
[I love Hana-chan. I want to marry her.]
[Hmph, I don’t like you at all.]
[Anyway, don’t cling to me. Won’t you get bullied?]
[Hana-chan, are you okay?]
[U-um, are you okay? Do you have a fever or something?]
[Hehe, I want to marry Hana-chan someday.]
[Hmm, well, it’s fine. This is a contract. You better make me happy.]
[Yeah! I’ll make Hana-chan happy.]
[Why, why are you leaving?! Why… why…]
[It’s best to just erase the things I don’t like. Hana-chan, I’m sorry… I won’t make you sad.]
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