There’s no need to become close again, and I shouldn’t be enough of a coward to miss this opportunity.
Just as I made up my mind, Takeru offered unnecessary help from the side.
“Isn’t guidance after school unnecessary?”
“Hey, don’t say unnecessary things!”
I snapped at Takeru and then hurriedly tried to cover it up.
“W-well, it’s true the teacher didn’t ask me to guide you. But still…”
“I see. If there’s no official guide, maybe it’s okay then.”
“Oh, right… Yeah. Uh-huh.”
I replied, feeling disappointed.
Alright, I’ve decided to hold a grudge against Takeru for life. I’ll curse him with terrible fortune in his fortune-telling slips for the next two years, and curse him to never get a girlfriend for life.
Shoulders slumped, I quietly shouldered my bag.
However, Remi was still standing in front of her desk.
“Hm… What’s up?”
Remi maintained her composed expression.
But eventually, she showed a slightly fidgety look and opened her mouth.
“…Um. Want to walk home together? It’s been a while.”
“Huh?”
I let out a dumbfounded voice.
Remi turned her back to me and headed out to the hallway alone.
When I instinctively looked back, Takeru was opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
I was about to smirk at Takeru but stopped myself, conscious of the eyes around us.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
As we walk home, just the two of us, I’m reminded of the day I failed to confess in the park.
Back then, I froze up, considering the risks of failure.
…Come to think of it, maybe that was for the best.
By the time we went to the park, Remi’s transfer had already been decided.
If I had been rejected, I would have surely run away from this awkward one-on-one time on our first day of reunion.
But being able to talk smoothly now is a different story.
There’s been an uncomfortably tense atmosphere flowing between us for a while now.
It’s been several dozen seconds since we both fell silent.
I feel like we were able to talk normally this morning, so how did it end up like this?
What’s with this phenomenon where we can talk at school when we’re together, but it becomes difficult to speak on the way home when it’s just the two of us?
–Yuzuha’s words echo in my mind: “I think Yoshiki and Nikaido have a chance at romance.”
…Maybe that’s adding unnecessary pressure.
Damn, this is more nerve-wracking than the time at Hanazono.
The silence seems to be urging me to say something.
“A-anyway, it’s really been a while! How many years has it been?”
My voice cracked badly.
But Remi either didn’t notice or pretended not to, and answered without commenting on it.
“How many years, I wonder. Since we graduated elementary school, so that’s four years, I guess. It really has been a long time.”
“Y-yeah, it has.”
“Mhm.”
Silence.
I want to run away and go home. Well, I am going home, but still.
There are plenty of reasons to be nervous about being alone together.
The pressure from Yuzuha’s words.
More than that, the situation of walking home together probably reminds me of that failed confession attempt.
Probably, no, definitely that’s it.
It might have been easier to talk to a transfer student I was meeting for the first time.
“S-so, Nikaido, how was your first day? I mean, it’s not much of a school, but…”
What kind of position am I taking here?
I’m painfully aware of how many things are wrong with what I just said, but why do I only realize it after I’ve said it all?
“Huh? Oh, well… I think it’s a good school.”
Remi blinked a few times in confusion and replied politely.
Can’t blame her.
The me in Remi’s memories was probably more eloquent.
Whether it was in our fearless childhood, or when I started to become shy in fourth grade, or in sixth grade when I was beginning to figure out how to navigate the world and making mistakes along the way.
In front of Remi, I was always able to be herself, no matter what era.
If we part ways in this awkward atmosphere, I’m worried it might become our new default.
That sense of urgency is also adding to my nervousness.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Remi finally spoke up, sounding a bit annoyed.
“Huh?”
“Ryota, why are you so nervous around me?”
“Ah, well…”
She noticed.
She totally noticed.
“To be honest, I’ve been finding it really hard to talk since earlier.”
Remi furrowed her brows and looked at me.
…Doesn’t this childhood friend understand that such a face makes a guy even more nervous?
Maybe that’s why she used to have a cold attitude towards boys back then.
I wish Remi would realize that she’s naturally beautiful enough to get away with being self-centered.
Now she’s even got an amazing figure to go with it, and we adolescent boys just can’t compete anymore.
But sadly, if I had the courage to voice such objections, I wouldn’t be struggling in this situation.
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
“What? No, that’s not it. I don’t want you to apologize.”
Remi shook her head slightly and sighed.
“Hey, what do I need to do to help you relax? Should we hold hands like we used to? I don’t mind at all if it’s you.”
“That would make me even more nervous! Please don’t!”
It’s true we used to hold hands, but we had mostly grown out of that by the time we entered elementary school.
When was the last time we held hands? Probably when we were searching for stag beetles.
Holding hands now, as high school students, would be nothing short of a special act.
At this rate, I’m not even sure if Remi sees me as a guy.
…Sadly, thinking about it this way makes me feel like I might be able to talk a bit more easily.
“So you could tell I was nervous, huh?”
“I can tell, that’s why I’m saying something. I was hoping it was just my imagination, but it doesn’t seem like it is, right?”
“Don’t say such unreasonable things. It’s natural to be nervous.”
If anything, Remi’s social skills must have improved a lot for her to be able to talk normally in this situation of being alone together on the day of our reunion after so long.
Even earlier, she was chatting pleasantly with those girls she had just met.
Well, she was putting on a bit of an act then, but either way, it’s clear my childhood friend’s communication skills have significantly improved.
“That’s why I’m telling you not to be nervous. I’d be happier if you treated me like you used to!”
“Well… okay. I’ll try.”
I responded, trying to smooth things over as Remi started to get irritated.
But honestly, even if she says that, it’s not something I can consciously fix so easily.
She doesn’t know it, but I’ve essentially failed at confessing to her.
At this rate, I’m starting to doubt whether I correctly judged that situation as a good atmosphere.
As I was thinking this, Remi glared at me with dissatisfaction.
“…You were just thinking ‘even if you say that’ weren’t you? Your face is really easy to read, you know.”
“Eh?! No, I was just thinking that I have my own reasons!”
Remi blinked rapidly.
Damn, I blurted out something unnecessary.
“What? What reasons?”
“Ugh…”
There’s no way I can say I attempted to confess in the past.
Given what happened at Hanazono, I’m not even sure if that was a good moment anymore.
But I don’t want the atmosphere to get any more awkward either.
…I should stop thinking so deeply about this.
Think of Remi as a boy.
That’s right, the other person is Takeru. Somehow, it started to irritate me.
“What about you?!”
“Whoa!”
“You’re the one who’s been acting weird all day! It’s cowardly to suddenly act like a mature lady when you were the one more excited than me about finding the stag beetle! What’s with this ‘ unattainable flower’ act? How many boys have you seduced with this? How many hate you now?”
“What…!? I just told you not to be nervous. Why are you saying such mean things?”
Remi glared at me, her cheeks flushed.
“Shut up! I’m trying my best here too!”
“Huh? Trying your best…?”
A sudden breeze gently moved Remi’s bangs.
Just as I was about to deeply regret my angry response, Remi’s expression turned knowing.
She stepped closer, close enough for our shoulders to touch.
It wasn’t the distance of high school students, but that of four or five years ago.
Remi nudged my shoulder with her elbow.
“Hah, I pretty much get what you’re trying to say. Come to think of it, Ryota, you’ve always been a coward when it matters. You’re nervous because you don’t know how to act around me after so long, right? You used to tease me so much in elementary school, but now you’re all bark and no bite. Still a pathetic guy, I see.”
Remi casually unleashed her sharp tongue.
This was the girl who used to mercilessly call the rowdy boys around her “idiots” in the lower grades.
Witnessing her sharp tongue like this triggered a chain of memories.
Nostalgic, messy exchanges.
I’ve seen this somewhat rotten face of Remi’s countless times before.
We walked in silence for a while, and I glanced to the side again.
Remi’s expression had changed from dissatisfaction to anxiety.
“…Hey, could you at least react a little? If you hated it that much… I’ll apologize.”
“Ah, sorry, I don’t hate it at all. You’re right, and Nikaido was originally sharp-tongued, so it doesn’t feel out of place.”
At my words, Remi blinked in surprise.
“D-don’t act so complicated! Besides, I’ve only ever talked like this with you, Ryota. I’ve become softer since I became more proper, right?”
“Oh, this tone does make it easier to talk. Nostalgic, elementary school Nikaido!”
“Don’t suddenly get all sparkly, and that way of saying it is kind of creepy!”
“Haha.”
Yeah, exchanges like before we were aware of romantic feelings seem fine.
Remi showed an exasperated expression and sighed resignedly.
“Geez… normal conversation is difficult, but this feels okay.”
“Seems so. Let’s get along like old times from now on.”
“That’s too old! I had almost graduated from this way of speaking… If we can’t talk normally except like this, you really haven’t changed at all.”
At Remi’s words, I blinked.
“…Sorry for still being a kid. I tried to change in various ways, but it didn’t work out well.”
My true feelings slip out.
A dry wind, unusual for this season, blows.
Remi blinked at my response and scratched her cheek modestly.
“…No, it’s the opposite. I’m relieved that you haven’t changed inside. I quite liked being treated casually by you, Ryota.”
“…Did Remi want to be treated so casually?”
“Don’t get cocky.”
“I’m sorry!”
A playful voice comes out, just like back then.
Remi’s eyes crinkled with amusement.
“Ryota, you finally called my name.”
It was a friendly smile she had never shown in the classroom.
A reunion after four years.
…Despite so much time passing, someone who accepts me back to how we were so quickly.
When I couldn’t fit in at kindergarten, when I couldn’t fit in at elementary school, Remi was always by my side.
“Is it okay for me to call your name?”
“Of course. Well, I’d prefer if it’s just when we’re alone.”
“…Remi.”
“Yes. It’s kind of embarrassing to have my name called so formally.”
“Are you blushing?”
“As if I would blush. Don’t be stupid.”
Remi shrugged her shoulders and replied coldly.
Still, she remained as close as before, closer than any other friend.
“…Thanks. Thanks to you, I could remember the atmosphere from back then.”
“You’re welcome. Ryota is naturally insensitive, so it’s easy to go back to that.”
“We were just about to wrap things up nicely!”
Remi burst out laughing.
I looked ahead and slightly raised the corners of my mouth.
The tension had completely dissipated, and my field of vision suddenly widened.
The scenery of the school route seemed more colorful than usual.
we could go back to our old relationship from tomorrow.
…I had a feeling
“Well, I’m about to reach my new house. Thanks for today.”
“Yeah. Though I didn’t do anything.”
“Well, you just abandoned your sensitivity, that’s all.”
“Shut up!”
“Haha.”
Remi laughed cheerfully and stopped at the three-way intersection.
The left side leads to the main street, the center to the park, and the right to the residential area.
Most students who use this road go left, and Remi’s old house was also on the left side here.
“Hey, isn’t your place on the left, Remi?”
“Nope, it’s on the right now.”
“Huh?”
I let out a dumbfounded voice.
The residential area on the right is a driver’s nightmare where cars and bicycles can’t pass through, and only residents of this area go that way.
“The old house has already been demolished.”
“Oh, right. That’s true.”
I still remember staring at the empty lot for a while after Remi moved away.
Remi smiled wryly and waved her hand.
When I remained standing there for a while, she blinked her eyes.
“What? Are you going to walk me home?”
“Well, um…”
As I gave an ambiguous reply, Remi tilted her head.
But she didn’t seem to mind further, and we started walking again.
A moment of silence continued.
I was secretly feeling my heart race.
Remi’s apologetic gaze gradually changed to a puzzled one.
“Hey, how long are you planning to follow me?”
When she finally asked curiously, I was certain.
Remi was the only one who hadn’t noticed.
“Hey, Remi.”
“What is it?”
“My current house is next door to yours.”
Remi’s eyes widened in surprise.
After freezing for a few seconds, she exclaimed:
“D-don’t joke around!”
Um, Yuzuha-san.
How exactly is this a pulse sign that she likes me?
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