“I’m told by my parents to take care of you because you’re so careless,”
Remi would occasionally say, but she always seemed to be having fun.
It seemed Remi was happy to be treated like someone of the same gender by me.
As we advanced in grades, Remi became the class leader.
And she was a leader with charisma.
Her self-centered personality transformed into leadership, and she became a central figure skilled at pulling others up.
It was around the sixth grade of elementary school when I clearly began to be conscious of such a Remi as a girl.
Her short hair became semi-long, her chest started to swell a bit, and the silhouette of her style changed.
Around the time I began to notice Remi’s feminine charm, I realized I had unknowingly fallen for her as more than just a friend.
It wasn’t just her appearance.
I think I was captivated by watching someone close to me grow into an adult.
She was stunningly beautiful and the class leader.
Even as Remi became the center of attention, she continued to treat me the same way, which only accelerated my feelings.
However, I had no idea how to advance our relationship.
Or rather, I was content with how things were at the time.
Being in the same class, we played together every day after school, and it was natural for us to exchange side dishes during events like field trips.
Even as Remi’s circle of friends expanded dramatically, I was naturally included in her closest group.
Remi’s friends were all approachable and had better communication skills than I did.
Desperate to keep up, I would sometimes tease her with insensitive jokes like “Have you gained weight?” which now make me cringe. Remi would just respond with a calm “Maybe” in front of others.
Of course, when we were alone, she’d scold me with “What were you thinking, you idiot!”
Other boys both envied and resented my relationship with her.
I can’t deny that I felt a sense of superiority when I saw how she interacted with other boys.
However, Remi’s influence was already considerable, and no one dared to openly harass me, her close friend.
As I continued to harbor my one-sided feelings, graduation day approached in the fall.
Unable to confess even after all this time, I received some incredible news.
“I heard that Nikaido likes you!”
— Remi likes me.
Rumors are often more than half misunderstandings or nonsense, and it’s especially hard to imagine someone like Remi talking about such things to others.
But I was undoubtedly Remi’s closest male friend.
I had confidence in that, and I wanted to believe the rumor.
“Remi, want to walk home together today?”
On the day I heard the rumor, I asked her in a more formal way after school.
When I invited her, I thought Remi’s cheeks looked a bit redder than usual.
It might have been an illusion caused by the sunset, or maybe Remi had a fever.
But that sight excited me even more, and for the first time, the idea of confessing clearly came to mind.
“C-come on, let’s go.”
Remi blinked at my unusually forceful invitation.
But she soon softened her expression.
“Sure. It’s been a while since we walked home together, just the two of us.”
“Right? We’ve always been in a group lately, never just the two of us.”
“That’s true. Well, shall we go?”
Remi Nikaido likes me.
Yet, her response was too normal.
As we left the school gates, I looked at her again, but she seemed just like always.
…Maybe it was just a rumor after all.
As I was about to show my disappointment, Remi softly spoke up.
“Since we’re out, want to stop by the park?”
I stopped in surprise.
It had always been my job to suggest things, with Remi usually agreeing to almost everything.
For her to invite me was extremely rare.
Maybe it had only happened a few times before.
“What are we going to do at the park?”
I immediately regretted my stupid response.
She had kindly invited me, and I criticized it myself.
Remi thought about my question so seriously that I felt apologetic.
“…You’re right, what should we do? Swing on the swings? See-saw?”
These were all things we used to do together in our early elementary school days.
Trying to hide my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Swings and see-saws are for kids!” Remi snorted in response.
It was an expression she no longer showed in class, reminiscent of her days as a tomboy.
“Being a kid is fine, we’re still kids anyway. Knowing you, Ryota, you’re probably just scared of getting on the swings after so long.”
“W-what? No way!”
“It’ll definitely be fun after such a long time. …Anything would be.”
Remi’s annoyed expression turned into a small smile at the end.
I replied, “Fine, if you insist,” to hide my embarrassment, while inwardly jumping for joy.
She said “anything.”
Just now, she said “anything.”
I felt like the hidden meaning behind her words was “as long as it’s the two of us.”
For me, feeling elated, the journey to the park seemed to pass in an instant.
While swinging, Remi quietly spoke.
“Hey, Ryota, do you have someone you like?”
It was surprising for Remi to bring up this topic.
We used to talk about everything.
But since around sixth grade, for some reason, we had stopped discussing this particular subject.
“…Well, um. …Wait a second, let me think. You go first?”
“…Coward.”
Remi glared at me, but the next moment, she looked up at the sky with a thoughtful “Hmm.”
“…I don’t have someone I like, but there might be someone I’m interested in.”
“Oh? Who, who is it?”
My heart raced.
Was it anticipation? Or something else?
“Idiot. I didn’t say I’d tell you the name. Come on, it’s your turn now. Spill it.”
“Huh!? What’s with that!”
Disappointed that my expectations were dashed, but lacking the courage to pursue it further, I decided to answer anyway.
“Me, huh? Well… there’s someone I want to spend more time with.”
Remi had given a vague answer too, so this level of ambiguity seemed appropriate.
I thought she might tease me for being boring, but surprisingly, Remi just smiled slightly.
Something was definitely different about Remi today.
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“Hmm, unexpected. …I see.”
Remi said this and looked up at the sky again, then suddenly started swinging hard.
…Wait, what’s with this atmosphere?
The chains creaked as they rubbed against each other.
Just the two of us in the park.
Just the two of us, sharing this moment.
Remi’s swing quickly came to a stop, and we both gazed ahead.
The rustling of trees and the sound of the river.
The silence between us felt incredibly comfortable.
— This feels like a good mood.
Maybe now’s the time.
“Remi. I—”
The words wouldn’t come out.
Remi’s face, looking straight at me, was just too normal.
Seeing her curious expression, I covered it up by saying something like, “I don’t want to graduate.”
Remi smiled sadly and replied with a short, “…Yeah.”
In the end, I couldn’t confess to her that day.
My legs had frozen up like a proper coward.
If my confession failed, we might not be able to talk like this anymore.
Plagued by such common yet overwhelming worries, we continued to walk home together for a while, but there was no further progress.
As I failed to overcome the hurdle of confession, Remi remained her usual self — until that day came.
“You’re transferring?”
Just four words, a familiar phrase.
Yet it was so unreal that my thoughts came to a complete halt.
“Yeah. …I’m sorry. It’s been decided for quite a while, but I ended up telling you just before it happens.”
Remi’s eyes welled up with tears.
At that moment, I understood.
The day she invited me to walk home, in the classroom after school. She had been crying then.
Her face had looked red because she had just been crying.
“No… um…”
Cheer up. We’ll meet again, right?
I felt that if I said that, it would be admitting the end of our relationship.
“— I’ll definitely come back.”
Large tears spilled from Remi’s eyes.
Was it sadness from leaving a familiar place, sadness from leaving the class, or… sadness from not being able to see me anymore?
Just thinking that I might be even a small part of those tears was enough to satisfy me.
Even though I would continue to regret it for quite some time afterward.
“Can you switch with me as Nikaido-san’s guide?”
“No way.”
“What!? Come on!”
As soon as homeroom ended, I flatly refused Takeru’s request.
Glancing at Remi’s seat, I saw a crowd had already formed.
It was all girls, not a single boy.
The boys were waiting at their own seats for the girls surrounding Remi to disperse.
But they probably wouldn’t get to talk to her until the next break, or maybe the one after that.
I was different.
I had the obligation-gift prepared by the teacher or God, that I had to talk to her.
I stood up quickly, ignoring Takeru’s complaints, and walked towards her.
When Remi moved away, we didn’t exchange phone numbers.
I was afraid of the process of gradually growing apart if we kept in touch.
So, this was the first time I’d face her since graduation day.
“Ni-Nikaido.”
“Ah, you’re here. It’s been a while.”
Remi said this and lifted the corners of her mouth.
— Wow, she’s still incredibly beautiful.
I almost blurted that out loud.
It’s amazing how she can pull off inner hair color and piercings so naturally when no one else in this high school does that.
I wanted to tell her honestly like I used to, but I wanted to avoid looking like I was hitting on her right after reuniting.
After all, I had just been rejected by Hanazono with the roundabout approach.
Besides, my eyes were being drawn to her chest area, making it impossible to compliment her fashion.
…Seriously, she’s grown a bit too much.
As Remi waited for my response, I hastily prepared different words.
“Y-yeah, it’s been a while! You really surprised me, suddenly transferring here.”
“Ahaha, I know, right? I wanted to contact you, but I didn’t have your contact information.”
“I see… calling the house phone would have been a bit too much, I guess.”
Well, I called five or six times this past week, but…
If there was a lot of moving hassle, it makes sense that she couldn’t answer.
“Exactly. Plus, Yoshiki-kun, you don’t use social media much, right? I’ve never seen you on any related accounts.”
“Ah, yeah. I only use the bare minimum of social media.”
I answered briefly, then let my thoughts wander.
…Did she just say “Yoshiki-kun”?
Remi’s being quite formal, isn’t she?
The Remi from before used to call me by a more familiar name.
Yet, the Remi in front of me is using “kun” and calling me by my family name.
To put it simply, she’s changed.
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