Chapter 63: Before the Battle
A swirl of lethargy coursed through my body. My mouth opened unconsciously as I tried to draw in the faint breeze, my breathing becoming heavy. With each breath of fresh air, the sensation of sunlight gradually became clearer.
Eventually, a warm and soft, yet somewhat awkward touch on my forehead reminded me of a time when my father placed his hand on my forehead to check for a fever.
“Mmm…”
“Hey, you’re awake.”
When I opened my eyes, my father wasn’t there. Instead, I saw black hair and captivating dark eyes.
“Prince Eroi…”
“I’m not going in there, I’m not going in there.”
Alfred-Berg-Leuville.
The third prince with black hair and black eyes who came to purify the land god.
“………… What’s going on?
What happened?
I could only remember going to the basement, reuniting with Morgan, and then… seeing my parents killed by the land god.
“…”
Unconsciously, I hugged myself.
A shiver ran down my spine, and I couldn’t stop trembling.
“…”
Alfred’s hand gently ruffled my hair.
Though his expression was indifferent, his clumsy attempt to comfort me was still evident.
“You fell asleep right after we returned to the mansion. Do you not remember?”
“…I don’t.”
I shook my head weakly. I couldn’t remember anything after reaching the mansion.
All I could recall was my parents’ deaths and Morgan’s words…
—- Nenel, you can do it now. With the copy of the forbidden magic ring and your talent, you can easily overpower the land god. You can avenge your family! Come, take my hand!
I had thought about taking the hand extended from the darkness.
“…………”
I looked at my palm.
What if Alfred hadn’t intervened?
Would I have taken Morgan’s hand? Would I have joined him in seeking revenge and killed the land god?
“Hey… Are you going to purify the land god now?”
“…Yes. I’m going to help your parents’ killer.”
“…………”
I was speechless at the harsh reality.
I should have hated them for trying to save the land god.
That hatred hadn’t faded, but now my heart was filled with something other than just hatred.
—- Perhaps… were you relieved that you didn’t have to kill the land god?
Morgan’s words were spot on.
A part of me had hoped for it.
I wanted to believe that my parents were killed because they got caught up in the lord’s scheme,
not because of a tragic accident or a clear villain. Deep down, I had hoped for a simple solution where defeating a clear enemy would solve everything.
But that wasn’t the case.
My father tried to save the land god, but it had lost its sanity and killed my parents. So, the only one I could avenge them on was the land god.
Killing it would be easy. A simple solution to avoid any more dilemmas.
(But… then why am I hesitating?)
—- My family was killed, yet people still see the land god’s incident as just an unfortunate accident. They live peacefully, relying on the land god. Those scum make me sick! How can they be forgiven?
In the dim memory, I saw Morgan’s bloodshot eyes.
I knew Morgan before the land god incident.
He was a friend of my father, had a family, and was kind.
He was a bit gruff, but he was kind to his family. He even gave me sweets when I visited, which I shared with my friends. But now, that kindness was gone, replaced by someone consumed by revenge.
I was scared of the joy he took in talking about revenge and power.
The kind neighborhood uncle was gone, replaced by a vengeful monster. And I was scared of finding that appealing.
A little while ago, I wouldn’t have been scared.
Not so long ago, I would have been afraid of nothing. I would have given myself over to revenge with the same glee. Because it was the only choice. Because nothing else mattered, nothing else was in sight.
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But now, I was scared
because Alfred
showed me there were other options.
He showed me a way to live without falling into the darkness of revenge.
Even after losing my parents, the world kept turning. Skewers were still delicious. Teasing Alfred made me think living in this cruel world wasn’t so bad.
“Hey… What should I do?”
Before I knew it, I was asking for help.
“What should I do?”
I wanted an answer.
I didn’t want to think anymore. I didn’t want to choose.
I just wanted an easy answer.
“…I don’t know what you should do,”
Alfred said, cutting off my reliance.
“You have to decide for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll regret it forever.”
No. That’s not it.
“You can choose anything. Whatever you decide, I’ll accept it.”
He had already told me.
—- If you see everything and still choose revenge, I won’t stop you.
“…If I say I want to kill the land god, is that okay?”
“If that’s what you choose.”
“………… It’s weird. Normally, people would stop me. Everyone else did.”
All the adults tried to stop me.
They understood my feelings but told me not to do anything foolish, to stop because it was dangerous.
Right after my parents died, those ‘reasonable’ arguments surrounded me.
“Unfortunately, I’m not normal.”
Alfred pinched his black hair hanging on his back.
“If you choose revenge against the land god, it means you’ve thought it through. I’m fine with that.”
“…………”
“But I’m going to save the land god. That’s my duty as royalty. If you come to stop me, I’ll fight you with all my strength. That’s my way of taking responsibility and accepting your choice.”
“…… What’s that? Don’t you think it’s childish to treat a kid like an adult?”
“I don’t treat someone who chooses their own path like a kid.”
His words made many things click into place.
Because I was a child. Because I lost my parents —-
such reasons didn’t matter. Alfred was ready to face me with all his strength, showing his full sincerity.
In other words, I could rely on him.
I could clash with him wholeheartedly. Before I fell into the wrong place, he would catch me.
Though it seemed like he was pushing me away, Alfred was offering me the utmost kindness.
“………… Then promise me.”
I couldn’t help but smile at his clumsy kindness.
“No matter what path I choose… You’ll accept it, Alfred.”
“…I promise.”
☆
After making a promise with Nenel and leaving the room, I saw a familiar figure at the edge of my vision… Noel walking away.
“He…”
Had he come to check on Nenel? It was a bit surprising since he seemed so uneasy yesterday.
If he was calmer today, it would help… But it might be tough. From Noel’s perspective, they were the enemies of his fiancée. From the documents, I could tell they weren’t on bad terms. In fact, they might have been closer than I thought…
“…I can only do my best.”
The situation had become more complicated since the initial plan. Yet, failure was not an option for royalty.
The abominations born from miasma, the Ragaments. Only the royalty had the power to oppose them.
(…Has Leo always felt like this?)
The first prince, destined to inherit the throne.
Now, I could understand a bit of what Leo had shouted during the duel.
I could recognize my sin of leaving the most difficult tasks to Leo while hiding in the shadows.
“—- It’ll be okay.”
“Huh…?”
I heard a voice from the hallway where no one else should have been.
I looked up and saw a lone girl.
“Charl…?”
Long blonde hair. Blue eyes. Her figure was so fragile, faint, and… ephemeral.
Moreover, the girl’s face resembled Charl. But she wasn’t Charl. It was difficult to put into words, but she seemed both like Charl and different at the same time…
“No, you’re not… Who are you?”
The girl’s presence gradually faded. Still, she smiled and said,
“…You’ll be okay.”
With those words, she vanished softly.
“…………”
I stood there for a while, unable to move.
Was it a dream? Or an illusion? I considered it might have been an attack from Lucil and the others, but strangely, the girl didn’t give off a bad vibe.
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