Chapter 5: Toudou Tsuyoshi’s Corporate Visit
The day of the school’s corporate visit event had arrived.
Even students from the special class who don’t participate in other events are joining this time. It seems they’ll be visiting a different company than the normal classes.
Mainly, students aiming for academic paths will visit companies in their desired research fields. It also seems to serve as a scouting opportunity for the companies.
Tanaka and I wanted to experience regular company visits, so we decided to go to the same company as the normal classes.
The meeting place is at the site itself. As high school students, we’ve been given freedom to act independently. We’ll need to contact the school if anything happens.
I was waiting for Tanaka at the station square.
Given the time, other class students can be seen waiting at the station as well. They’re holding materials and chatting nervously. I’ve memorized all the information about our company visit destination. I don’t know what might happen.
We’re heading to an old-established wedding ceremony hall in the city center. There are various jobs involved in weddings, so we’ll be able to interact with the staff. I’m really looking forward to it – with Tanaka, just the two of us…
That’s right, it’s just the two of us today.
It’s obvious. Tanaka and I decided to go together. Why am I getting flustered? There’s no need to get worked up. But the idea of going out alone with Tanaka is stimulating my brain.
Back then, I was waiting for Tanaka like this –
A memory sealed deep within, along with the date.
“Yo, Toudou, good morning!!”
Tanaka came running with a bright smile.
Seeing Tanaka’s face, I got flustered.
“Ah, good morning, Tanaka. Alright, let’s go.”
“Eh, wait a sec! Huh? Toudou, your face is red? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
Tanaka reached out to touch my forehead.
I was too surprised to move. Tanaka’s hand touched my forehead. It felt cool and pleasant.
“Hmm, no fever. You okay? Should we rest a bit?”
“No, it’s fine.”
I could smell Tanaka’s scent. It was a gentle fragrance. I closed my eyes to calm myself down.
“Hey, Toudou, you can’t fall asleep here!”
“S-sorry–“
Tanaka’s hand left my forehead.
///
continue
///
I felt a little lonely as the warmth disappeared.
I scratched my head – covering up something. I didn’t mind the ache in my chest. Intense headaches are a daily occurrence.
We headed towards the train.
I rarely ride the train. There was no need. We waited on the platform.
“Hey, Toudou, isn’t this like a date? And in our school uniforms too!”
“I-is that so? Sorry, I don’t understand…”
I was flustered. Tanaka’s mood was unusually high. Since I’ve lost my memories, I can’t explain what this situation is like. My heartbeat is racing.
“Geez, this is an event, so we have to enjoy it! Ah, the train’s here! …Looks crowded though–“
Overlapping with the commuter rush, the train was very packed. As the train stopped, people poured out. We were swept into the train.
Our destination is Shina Town. It’ll be a tiring journey until then. The train was more packed than expected. We couldn’t find seats and were pushed to the corner near the door.
“Hey, Tanaka, is it always this crowded?”
“Ugh… Since it’s not the usual train, I don’t know… It’s suffocating…”
There were salarymen and office ladies around us.
They all looked uncomfortable.
I tried to protect Tanaka from the pressing crowd, using all my strength to shield her body.
As a result, I ended up embracing Tanaka’s body in the corner of the door.
My hands were supporting her face.
Tanaka’s face was near my chest. I felt my face turning red.
“Hey, Toudou, are you okay? You seem a lot more comfortable now.”
Tanaka looked up at me from my chest.
I see, Tanaka has long eyelashes. To distract from my embarrassment, I started thinking about irrelevant things.
Tanaka went silent. I didn’t say anything either.
At some point, Tanaka rested her head on my chest. In that moment, something inside me [switched] and started raging. It was painfully, unbearably painful. It felt like my whole body was being pierced. But the pain quickly faded, and the warmth I felt from Tanaka seemed to be melting something within me.
It was a strange moment. It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t want it to end. Tanaka’s weight felt pleasant.
I tried my best not to touch Tanaka. The only contact was my chest and Tanaka’s head.
I became anxious, worried that the pounding of my heart could be heard.
I worried that I might be touching something inappropriate.
I wished this moment could go on forever–
The train stopped at a station, and we got off the platform. When we got back on, it was a bit less crowded. This time, I didn’t have to support her.
“Toudou, let’s sit here!”
“Ah, okay.”
We sat down. Tanaka, for some reason, rested her head on my shoulder. –I had to support her again.
My heartbeat quickened… What is this situation??
“–Ah, yeah, a continuation of earlier.”
I was flustered by the unexpected turn of events.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
I, Rokka, want to work at a wedding hall in the future. I’ve always enjoyed seeing happy customers dining at my family’s Japanese restaurant since I was a child. I wanted to create those kind smiles myself.
…When did it start? My personality became twisted. I didn’t want my parents to find out I was being bullied, so I forced myself to smile, and on weekends I’d leave home to hang out with friends, even when I had no plans… Ever since I tried to change and become stronger, nothing has been going right.
I hated my overconfident self. I hated the way I was becoming an unpleasant person. I had become just like the ones who bullied me.
The human heart is fragile. I knew that even a little malice can hurt someone, but I committed a terrible mistake.
At the wedding hall we visited, I stood alone a little apart from the group. I could feel the distance from the other girls in my class. It’s not lonely to be alone. But being isolated like this made me remember the pain of being bullied, and an unpleasant sweat started to form.
The girls in the group would occasionally glance at me and laugh. I recognized that kind of laughter – it was a really unpleasant way of laughing.
The casual conversation started to escalate. My heart that had tried to become stronger was about to wilt. Children can really break someone’s feelings so effortlessly. …Well, I guess that’s because I was that way too.
As I took a deep breath to calm myself, one of the girls in the group, Rin, came up to me.
“Rokka-chan, what’s wrong? Are you hot? You’re sweating.”
“Good morning, Rin-chan. Ahaha, a little…”
“Ah, is it because Toudou-kun is here? Rokka-chan, you’re so romantic~, haha.”
Toudou had just arrived at the designated meeting place for the female students. I wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to hide.
Even though I wasn’t being watched, I was worried about how I might be perceived. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I kept fidgeting with my hair and uselessly brushing off the dirt on my uniform.
I needed a strong heart, but my weak self… I hated it so much.
Rin’s laughter had a different quality now. It didn’t sound joyful anymore. It had turned into a mocking laugh.
This kind of experience wasn’t new to me. The attitudes of my classmates changing, that was a common occurrence. We used to talk a lot in the same class, but now we don’t even greet each other in the hallway if we’re in different classes. I think schools are a particularly unique place. I’ve even been confessed to by a boy before. …I thought it was just a lie because I was being bullied. When I rejected him, he started badmouthing me the next day.
When kindness is turned into hostility, that’s just daily life, and I hate it.
The group atmosphere and dynamics are important, and yet, when you talk to individuals, they’re often normal… Even the students who bullied me were close friends at first.
I shake my head. I’m not being bullied now. It’s my own fault, so I have to take responsibility.
“Rin-chan…, you’re laughing too much.”
“Eh, but the current weak Rokka-chan is cuter! I’m sure Toudou-kun will understand too. Should I tell him?”
I think a strong sense of justice is scary. I did terrible things to Toudou. That past can’t be changed. …Other people use that fact to attack me mercilessly. …It’s really painful.
“…Yeah.”
“Hey, was Rokka-chan mean to Toudou-kun because she liked him? That’s too much, right? Did she properly apologize?”
“Like?”
It was a very simple question. Do I like Toudou? …Why is Rin-chan assuming that?
“Eh? Don’t play dumb! It’s obvious you like him! Geez, Rokka-chan really is dumb, huh~”
Rin-chan’s words were very high-handed. Each one had a sharp edge. She no longer sees me as a friend. I feel the sense that under the classroom hierarchy, under her, I’m someone they can pour strong words on.
“Ah, it looks like it’s time to gather. Rokka-chan, see you later.”
Rin-chan heads back to her group. I used to be part of that until just a bit ago, but now I no longer exist there.
I’m left standing alone. I’m not sad. Because it’s my own fault.
I catch sight of Toudou in the corner of my vision.
I recall Rin-chan’s words. I like Toudou. Yeah, I do like him. …But this isn’t love. Seeing Toudou sitting alone in the classroom, I felt empathy. The time in the library was a time where I could be myself and feel at ease. I liked watching Toudou’s a little out-of-the-ordinary mannerisms. He was cute, like a little brother.
It’s just dependence. Seeing Toudou, who’s experiencing the same situation as me, I sympathized and became dependent…
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
