Reset My Favor and Live a Normal Youth Volume 1 Chapter 15 part 2

“Igarashi-kun cares deeply for Sasaki-san. The changes in his body temperature and emotions when talking to Sasaki-san are obvious.”
“W-Wait, Toudou-kun! That’s embarrassing…”
“Hahaha!! Seriously! By the way, is Toudou…actually an amusing guy?”
“Me? I’m just an ordinary guy.”
Ordinary… I know that I’m just an aberration trying to become normal.
I’ve been given a proposal by my homeroom teacher about that. I need to make a decision soon.

Just as I was thinking about this, the teacher entered the classroom.
Fujie-san and the others said goodbye to Sasaki-san and left.
Sasaki-san’s face was a little red, but she didn’t seem to mind.
I felt a warm fuzziness in my chest for some reason. It reminded me of the youth novel I read before.

During morning homeroom, the teacher started explaining the upcoming work experience field trip

an extracurricular event for the whole grade.
We’ll be visiting companies to see and experience the kinds of work they do, then write a report afterwards. It’s very interesting content.
I can’t picture myself working at a company in the future. I have a vague anxiety about the future.
There are several companies accepting students, so we have to decide which one we want to visit in groups by class.

Grouping up… For me, it brings back many bitter memories.

In middle school, Hanazono helped me out during class events. She looked after me since I had trouble getting along with classmates. But even Hanazono has her own female friends to spend time with, so I was completely alone when we weren’t in the same class.

During any class event, making groups for something, picking partners for P.E., deciding work allocations for the culture festival… I was always left out. The teacher would tell me to join a group with fewer people. When that happened, I strongly felt I was an aberration. I can’t forget my classmates’ disgusted faces.
A bothersome thing. That term fit me perfectly.

–Come to think of it, Hanazono really liked that phone strap.
…I’m trying to escape reality by thinking about Hanazono.
Neither Hanazono nor Tanaka are in this class.
…It’ll be alright. A bit lonely, but if I get placed in a leftover spot and act alone on the day itself, there’ll be no issues. I’m used to being alone. Being able to endure means being used to it.

“Alright, go ahead and randomly make the groups. Students who are done, write your names on the board. Class rep, I’ll leave the rest to you,” the teacher said before exiting the classroom.
Our class rep Michiba Rokka stood at the front in the teacher’s place. The long homeroom period was beginning.

“Okay everyone, first form groups with your friends! We’ll adjust from there!”
It seemed everyone had decided their groups beforehand. At Rokka’s signal, the representatives headed to the board and started writing down names.
“Uhh, can’t read that guy’s kanji. Oi, come up here and write it yourself!”
“Me, Miyo-chan, and Kasuga-kun…”
“Crap, aren’t we too many? You’re good friends with that other group right? Why not join them?”
“Yeah, they’ve got more girls. Tsuyoshi have fun!”
“Nice, enjoy yourself!”
It was as if time had frozen around just me.
I couldn’t move from my seat. I didn’t know what to do. I felt an intense sense of isolation…
I like the cheerful, lively atmosphere, but I don’t feel like joining in.


–It’s always like this. If I endure, the painful time will pass.

The writing on the board filled up. Everyone’s name was listed except mine.
“Yo, class rep, it’s pretty much decided right?”
“Split up nicely~”
“Yeah, so all that’s left is Toudou. Umm, what should we do? Drawing lots like last time?”
My chest leapt at Rokka-san’s words.
I have to join the neatly divided groups.
My classmates don’t want an aberration inserted into their group. I strongly sensed their rejection.

–Drawing lots. It’s a method to evenly distribute me among groups.

Last time too, it was by drawing lots. The student who got me looked frustrated. To my classmates, I’m the losing draw. At the time, it didn’t particularly bother me.
But now, after becoming friends with Hanazono–after becoming friends with Tanaka–
My heart has changed a little.
It’s true I’m alone. I don’t want to inconvenience the other students. More than that, I’ve made people who call me their friend.
I raised my hand.
The class was buzzing and no one noticed.

“So Toudou-kun. Hey, why not join our group? I’ll tell my friends too. Igarashi-kun will be joining us later too.”
I could tell Sasaki-san had been worrying about me this whole time.
If she arbitrarily added me to her group based on her own judgment, it might cause problems in her relationships. Just her offer is enough.
This is due to my own negligence in building proper human relationships.
“Thank you, Sasaki-san. Just give me a moment–“
–Sasaki-san is a good person. She’s a perfect match for Igarashi-kun. I hope they remain friends.
I’ve decided to move forward. With my own will, through my own actions–

I dislike being the center of attention. But more than that… I dislike even more being dead weight because of drawing lots.
“You don’t like drawing lots either? Geez, then I guess Toudou has to join my group–“
I interrupted Rokka-san’s words.
“Rokka, why don’t we not do the drawing? I’ll decide by my own will.”
Rokka-san looked confused for a moment, then heaved a huge sigh. An ominous atmosphere spread through the classroom as it fell silent.
“Toudou…don’t be selfish okay? No one wants you in their group, that’s why. Don’t make me say it aloud…honestly…it’s why you don’t have any friends.”
“Indeed, that’s fair. However–“
Sasaki-san started to say “W-wait, our group–” but I gestured for her to stop. Saying that would make her an object of curiosity in the classroom. Don’t impose on others what you wouldn’t want imposed on yourself.

“I’ll be fine alone.”

“Huh? What are you saying? It’s a class event! Don’t be so selfish, I can’t tolerate it! Hey, let’s ask everyone! Guys~, do you want Toudou in your groups?”
The students who went to karaoke with Rokka immediately spoke up.
“Woah, Rokka-chan~ that’s kinda mean…”
“Way too pushy, your joke didn’t land well.”
“Anyway, why would we deal with an gloomy loner?”
“Does he still not get that he’s hated? Annoying as hell.”
Amidst the loud voices, I could also hear the few trying to speak up for me.
“I don’t mind him in my group.”
“He’s a bit scary but could join my group too–“
As Sasaki-san tried to speak, I quieted her with my hand.

“I see, it does seem I’m not very well-liked. Of course, I understand some students are speaking up for me… Forcing unwilling students to include someone they aren’t friends with is clearly problematic. In that case, I’ll be fine alone.”
“Geez…you’re not listening right? The company tour requires moving in groups.”
Rokka-san sighed but for some reason looked at me coquettishly.
“–If you hate drawing lots that much, th-then just join my group! It’s fine!”

It’s not that I hate drawing lots. Or being alone. What I hate is not being able to decide things for myself–

I started walking towards the front.
I heard Rokka-san’s sharp inhale.
“…Oh, you finally understand right? Hehe, sensei is so mean–“
I picked up a piece of chalk.

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