Chapter 2 [Cigarettes, Cats, and Canned Coffee]
“Hey! There’s something there, there’s definitely something!”
“It’s okay, there’s a force field, so it’s safe.”
After spending a few days registering as adventurers and undergoing classroom training to enter the dungeon, we finally arrived at Tokyo’s Third Dungeon over the weekend. The dimly lit rocky terrain, the damp wind blowing through, and the dangerous small creatures pouncing at us—all of it was unlike anything I’d seen in the mundane world, and I was terrified from the moment we entered. I trudged along, half sobbing, desperately trying to keep walking.
“Are you really okay?”
“I’ve set it to repel anything that moves, so arrows, guns, even a bright red razor crab should be fine… It’s okay to be scared and cry, but please don’t get snot on me!”
Currently, I was wearing a headphone-like gear with a yellow cloth draped over it like an ancient Roman toga, and on top of that, I had strapped on a baby carrier designed for Mars. To put it mildly, I must have looked incredibly suspicious. Every person we passed had stared at us intently.
“Isn’t this far enough?”
“We’ve only covered about two kilometers. According to the information, there’s a huge square about five kilometers ahead, so let’s head there.”
“Ugh, maybe we should have bought bicycles or something…”
“Surprisingly, the ground here is relatively flat, but there are many steps and obstacles, so it might be difficult.”
There seem to be various types of dungeons connected to different worlds, but to be honest, Tokyo’s Third Dungeon, which is close to my home, was almost identical to a natural cave. Despite the abundance of lights hanging in the rugged dungeon walls, it was still dimly lit and frankly quite scary.
Although barriers could fend them off, the fierce wild animals—or rather, creatures inside the dungeon—were said to be monsters. Most monsters would flee upon being repelled by the barrier, but occasionally, some would bravely challenge us. In those cases, we’d fend them off desperately with a clothesline pole or by throwing stones.
“What should we do if that tiny dog comes again? It kept bouncing around even after being hit ten times!”
“You have a gun, don’t you? Use it.”
“What if someone sees us? There’s a gun law in Japan…”
“That gun is disguised, so it’s illegal in space, but it’s fine on Earth. It doesn’t fire real bullets.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah, but it seems to have quite the power, even though it doesn’t seem like a portable weapon. Be careful, it might bore through the mantle if you keep pulling the trigger towards the ground.”
“That gun is seriously dangerous!”
“Well, considering it was exchanged for a whole box of expensive oranges, it must be.”
Space stuff is generally too dangerous. I vowed to come up with some countermeasures so we wouldn’t have to rely on them too much.
We walked, climbed, and descended for nearly five kilometers, panting all the way, until we finally reached the square inside the dungeon, which felt eerily desolate. Despite being the size of a gymnasium, there were only two groups of adventurers resting there—one with five members and the other with three. Both groups were dressed in combat gear and carried sturdy crossbows and spears.
“Let’s go say hi, Tonbo.”
“Oh, uh… okay.”
Led by Mars, who had descended from my chest carrier, I attempted to approach the group of five adventurers nearby… but as soon as we were within three meters, all of them stood up and wielded their weapons.
“Eek!”
“Hey, we’re unarmed, guys.”
Despite my trembling, Mars tried to strike up a cheerful conversation, but the expressions of the others remained unchanged.
“Hey! What do you want?”
Presumably the leader, a bespectacled man wearing a plate carrier, said while aiming his crossbow at the ground.
“We’re just passing through. Any problems with that? We don’t have any weapons, guys.”
“We’re good. Please go elsewhere.”
“Okay, okay.”
After getting a light pat on the thigh, I bowed my head apologetically to the group of five and stepped back.
“Let’s go talk to those three over there.”
“Seriously?”
Ultimately, the trio’s party was driven off by a motley crew, and we found ourselves sitting against the wall of the square.
A signboard was propped up on the wall with large letters reading “Food, Tobacco, Medicines Available.” In reality, our type of business would be immediately shut down if exposed. We didn’t expect phrases like “Available” to convince anyone, but it served as a feeble excuse to clarify that we weren’t officially selling these items.
The signboard was something we painstakingly painted last night. We invested most of the money we just earned from our part-time job into materials and products like this. Honestly, for a cautious person like me, it was quite a risky move.
“Mars, I’m feeling disheartened.”
“Didn’t I tell you at the beginning that no one would come for the first week? Building trust in business takes time.”
“My butt is cold and sore.”
“Oh! I see, so there’s demand for that too.”
“Ugh, my stomach is starting to ache…”
“Yeah, diarrhea medicine is also in demand. You see, you never know until you try, right?”
Beside me, trembling hand reaching for the diarrhea medicine, Mars, a cat with a warm fur coat, proudly said these words.
◆
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
Despite only visiting the dungeon about four days a week, it’s been two weeks since we set up shop in the square. We’ve been spending idle time without earning a single yen from dungeon peddling.
Occasionally, people would inquire about our selection and prices, but none made purchases. However, spending every day delving into the dungeon, one gets accustomed to the environment. Initially, even I, who was scared of the darkness and monsters, no longer felt so stressed about delving into the dungeon.
Honestly, the barriers are too strong. Being scared was just a waste. Now, I’ve become skilled enough to hunt my own prey with a makeshift spear made from a hundred-yen store knife bolted to a laundry pole. While Mars and I have no intention of adventuring, being registered as regular members with the Tokyo Dungeon Management Association means we could sell monster corpses if we wanted to. Selling them for a decent price also contributed to my mental stability.
“Oh, it seems like we’re becoming ordinary adventurers at this rate.”
“Well, if being ordinary suits you, then that’s fine.”
“I don’t want to be ordinary.”
As usual, we were in front of the wall in the dungeon square with the signboard set up. I placed a desk I bought from a recycling shop, laid a carpet inside the store, and placed an office chair on top to relax.
While sitting on a lawn chair next to me, sipping orange juice, Mars watched a movie I downloaded on my smartphone. He seemed to be exploring various Earth entertainments lately. Yesterday, he watched the famous “Space War” and said, “If we took this to space, it would sell well, it’s so surreal.”
I was reading my university textbooks with a headlamp on, when an unusually loud voice echoed through the area.
“Minoda got hit!! Barbarians appeared in A9 district!!”
“The bleeding won’t stop!”
The people in the square, including several parties, stood up and moved towards the source of the commotion.
“Tonbo, it’s work, tidy up the chairs and take the signboard.”
“Huh…? Okay.”
I quickly cleared the chairs and carpet, grabbed the signboard, and ran towards the source of the voice.
“Please! Someone help! Minoda is going to die!”
A man with a plate carrier and glasses, bloodshot eyes, shouted as another man lay bleeding from his legs.
“Calm down, Yoshida! We need to stop the bleeding first.”
“Please! Someone! His child is about to be born!”
People around calmed down the frantic man, while others swiftly removed the injured man’s clothes. Blood seemed to be flowing endlessly from his deeply cut leg. It’s the first time I’ve seen a human wound so clearly, honestly, it’s tough.
“Brothers, do you need something?”
In such a chaotic atmosphere, Mars spoke in his usual tone. The frantic man looked at Mars, then at me, then at the signboard I was holding.
“Ah, blood… Right, bandages! Give me some bandages!”
“Oh, if you have them, also get water and disinfectant.”
“We need to stitch the wound, right?”
“We have a medical stapler?”
“Is that the thing to staple wounds with? I’ve never used one…”
Apart from the glasses guy, everyone seems surprisingly calm. I guess they’re used to this sort of thing. Even Mars remains incredibly composed, with enough composure to pitch his products.
“Great! Great! If it stops the bleeding, I’ll take anything! Keep Minoda alive for the New Year!”
After receiving the OK from the other side, I bring out the table and lay out the products on it.
“Money first.”
As Mars speaks, the glasses guy impatiently removes his plate carrier and tosses his wallet from his pocket.
“Got it! I’ll pay!”
“There you go.”
With a casual tone from Mars, the glasses guy rushes to the table, and we pick up the wallet that fell to the ground.
“Okay, 4 liters of water, hydrogen peroxide, bandages, surgical tape, medical stapler, and scissors… plus actual costs, transportation fees, and incidental expenses, that’s about twenty thousand yen…”
“Then, it’s twenty thousand yen, and…”
“Hold on, Should we throw in some anti-inflammatory and pain relief medication?”
“Then add that too, and…”
I take out a dose of the anti-inflammatory and pain relief medication tablets and place them on top of the glasses guy’s wallet.
“Oh, is the clothesline pole detachable? Do you have both parts?”
“We do, but…”
“If we combine it with a carpet, it can be used as a stretcher. Should we ask about that too? And remove the knife.”
“Hey now, you’re trying to sell everything!”
I couldn’t help but laugh and say that, and Mars looks up at me, lifting his mustache with a smirk. Then he pats my thigh with his small hand and proudly says,
“See? I told you. It’s a gold mine!”
I mimic him, laughing back, and pat his hand confidently.
On December 28th, just before the New Year, the underground plaza echoed with the glasses guy’s loud cry of “Minoda! The bleeding has stopped!”
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