I am no hero of the shadows! Volume 1 Chapter 4 part 1

Nicola – Lilac, Second Princess

“Hey, you. Won’t you become my woman?”

It was the second day since the Saint had come to stay.

Finally, Phil’s concerns came to fruition.

“Um, well…”

On the second floor of the mansion, in front of the row of bedrooms prepared for guests, the Saint and envoy of the Goddess, Milis, had a troubled expression on her face.

“Man, this guy’s really going for it. He never fails to betray expectations in a good way… Maybe he’d be well-suited to be a street performer or commentator? I bet he’d be in high demand all over the place.”

“I wonder if he’d be appreciated in a comedy role?”

“It’s already a comedy, isn’t it? …… “

Phil, standing behind her, held his head in frustration.

While notorious for being a good-for-nothing like his younger brother, he had faintly hoped “There’s no way he’d make a move on the Saint.”

Yet just two days in, the good-for-nothing bared his comedic talents.

“Of course, I’ll promise you’d be well-provided for. I’ll give you anything you desire.”

“But, I’m just a devout follower…”

“Being a follower isn’t grounds to refuse relations between a man and woman, is it? The Church has no rules forbidding such interactions.”

“Um, that’s true but…”

It was certainly true that the Church had no rules expressly forbidding relationships between men and women.

Firstly though, his premise was mistaken to begin with.

Romantically, that is.

For starters, it’s meaningless unless the other person likes you back.

Yet seemingly making his stout frame appear even larger by puffing out his chest, an unplaceable air of confidence floated plainly on his face.

I wonder why? It’s quite puzzling.

“W-What should I do, Sir Phil…”

Milis, confused by the sudden confession? No, not a happy confusion,

but a “how should I turn him down” confusion – one could easily discern that from her expression.

It was regrettable no attendant was present to rebuke Zan.

Phil heaved a great sigh before discreetly whispering into Milis’ ear.

“(Please excuse my foolish younger brother’s rudeness. As the older brother, I will assist to gently turn him down).”

“(Y-Yes sir!)”

“(Um…isn’t your face looking a bit red?)”

“(Nya!? N-No not at all!?)”

Milis denied it while nibbling cutely in her catlike way, making Phil somehow doubtful.

No matter how often one may visit brothels, a maiden’s heart when the opposite sex draws intimately close is something he apparently couldn’t comprehend.

“(Well, if that’s the case, please just repeat the words I say directly from my mouth. It’s what one would call ventriloquism).”

“(Ventriloquism, got it!)”

Milis balled her fists adorably and faced Zan head-on.

Then, as if continuing Phil’s words, she opened her mouth.

“(I deeply apologize, but I must refuse your offer).”

“I deeply apologize, but I must refuse your offer!”

“(I have not fallen so far as to be leashed by a petty pig).”

“I have not fallen so far as to be leashed by a petty pig!”

“(Please reevaluate your weight and come back to me in the next life).”

“Please reevaluate your weight and come back to me in the next life– Huh!? What are you making me say!?”

Milis, who had been smoothly continuing Phil’s words, returned to reality.

She finally noticed the parade of insulting lines up until now.

“Big brother, you…!”

“Oh, scary, scary. Don’t glare at me like that, or I won’t be able to sleep at night.”

Zan, clearly realizing it was his brother’s doing, shows a color of fury.

However, Phil, with just raising both hands, maintains a nonchalant attitude.

“It has nothing to do with my brother?! Incompetents should stay out of my way!”

“Yeah, probably. Normally. Milis-sama is a guest, unlike Kahlua, and suddenly making such a person your own woman, are you an idiot? I don’t care, but don’t cause trouble for the family. Mother and father might end up in an awkward situation, you know?”


Zan balled his fists in frustration, having realized it was his brother’s doing.

But to Phil, it seemed he had really wanted to make her his woman.

“For all my reputation, even I’ve gotta say… It’s about time you got over this thing for women. As an alternative – though I don’t much care for it – why not visit the brothel!? No trouble at all, they’ll readily fulfill a man’s every desire!”

“As if I’d go! Those women are filthy!”

“Hah!? Don’t look down on the older sisters! It’s exactly because they have so much experience, they readily provide the highest level of satisfaction! Top-notch merchandise isn’t always best! Some antiques become preferred for their acquired taste!”

The regular unleashed his pent up anger at the uninformed man’s words.

And then–


“Um…what are you talking about? Are brothels shops that provide massages?”

“Yes, they’re likely shops that would please someone like him with massages.”

Pure innocence.

Oblivious to worldly impurities, Milis innocently asked Kahlua.

Meanwhile, Kahlua had a clearly visible twitching vein on her forehead.

“Listen! Next time I’ll drag you along to my regular joint! Having a crappy spirit where only ‘straight from the factory’ will do – I’ll personally fix it straight for you!”

“Just go die already.”

“My eyes, my eyes!!!???”

A girl with a vein bulging on her forehead had suddenly entered his vision, but in the next moment, his vision abruptly faded to black.

Phil, who suddenly felt a sharp pain in his eyes, spun around while clutching at them.

“Phil… if you so much as mention brothels or take them there next time, I won’t leave it at just your eyes.”


Kahlua glared at him coldly while Phil groaned in agony.

Seeing the scene before her, Milis went “Eh, um…?” clearly bewildered.

“Heh, hah! My interest has been killed!”

Zan, looking afraid in Kahlua’s eyes, leaves the place, leaving behind excuses to escape.

It seems that they managed to prevent disrespect towards Milis from becoming a big issue.

However, there was about one casualty.

But honestly, this is undoubtedly a case of reaping what one sows.

“Phew… he’s finally gone. Thanks to your sacrifice, Phil.”

“Yeah, you’re the only one who made me a sacrifice…!”

While glaring with bloodshot eyes, Kahlua, without hesitation, changes from her cold stare to a clear smile.

“Are you okay, Sir Phil…? If you don’t mind, I’d like to heal you…”

“Not needed.”

“But it looks very painful───”

“Not needed.”

“But, however───”

“Not needed.”

“S-So, is that so…?”

Faced with the mysterious pressure emanating from the beautiful smile, Milis hesitates and withdraws.

Why? The question looms large, but she sensed that this was not the right moment to ask.


“Um, Sir Phil… A guest has arrived.”

The attendant’s hesitant attitude felt somehow out of place,

but Phil’s vision gradually recovered allowing him to comprehend the situation instantly.

“Why do you come holding an autograph board?”

“Um, if possible, could I get an autograph–“

“Even though you know I’m a good-for-nothing son… More importantly, we have a guest right!? Prioritize that first…”

“If I miss this chance, I may not get another so…”

“Am I some kinda idol?”

The attendant who had done nothing but talk badly of him as a “good-for-nothing” and “playboy” until now still shamelessly held out the autograph board with tears streaming down his face.

And so–

“So uh, who’s this guest anyhow?”

“It is Her Highness the Second Princess, Nicola.”


Phil dropped the pen he had been holding.

In the earlry where Phil and the others live – the Lilac Kingdom – there are three girls of royal blood.

One excels in martial arts, one in benevolence, and one in resourcefulness.

They were raised from a young age to support the sole prince set to rule the earlry, each displaying their own talents accordingly.

Thus, the people of Lilac never doubt when they speak the words “future security”.

Rumor says there is no ugly in-fighting over succession, and the three share a close relationship.

This provides a sense of relief for the people, further reinforcing that security.

Conflict at the top trickles down to anxiety below.

The unchanging daily peace could become threatened – as long as no sparks fly, the people casually continue lifting up the royal family.

And since they lift them up, the royal family enjoys an exceptionally favorable public reputation.

Everyone is adored, everyone revered.

If such a person appeared right before you, how would you feel?

You’d likely be overjoyed, boasting about it to friends and family.

However, Phil Salemabart–

“Alright Lady Milis… let us go out for a bit.”

“But the princess has come to visit!”

Was trying to sneak away.

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