3
“Hey, Awayuki. Going around to all those places today… Didn’t any of it move you?”
As Ohana’s plans ran dry and the sun started setting, I posed a question to Awayuki.
“Not at all. The movie’s title was true to itself─or rather, it had 113, both big and small, tear-jerking moments. And the singer had a soul-shaking voice. The therapy made scientific sense and didn’t put stress on the body while making you cry, a superb method.”
Well, having it analyzed like that in a straight face…
“Sorry, Ohana, even though you went through all this trouble. And I wasted your day off too, Daikyo. I’m very sorry. bows”
Awayuki gave a perfect 90 degree bow to both me and Ohana.
“N-No no, don’t worry about stuff like that!”
“Yeah. Besides, I had a normal fun time today.”
“Thank you. But I still think it’s impossible for me to harbor any kind of emotion.”
With a gloomy look─not that her expression changed─Awayuki stated it frankly.
“Hey, Awayuki… Why do you want to cry so badly in the first place?”
That’s right, we still haven’t asked this most fundamental question.
“Because I’m not even born yet.”
“─Huh?”
Stunned by the shocking words that suddenly came out, my thoughts froze for an instant.
“Normally, humans are born crying out loud, right?”
“Oh, yeah. There’s that thing called baby’s first cry… Which makes you imagine they’re crying.”
“I didn’t have any of that.”
“I-Is that so…”
“Well, that’s not necessarily crying from sadness, but to breathe. And some babies are extremely quiet, so I’m not the only one. The issue is after that. I’ve never cried. Not just when I came out of my mother’s womb, but in my whole life leading up to now.”
“Ha? …No no, that can’t be possible. There’s no kid who never cries─”
“There is. And that’s me.”
She wasn’t rebutting my words. Her tone was simply stating the facts.
“And it’s not limited to crying. I told you I don’t have emotions, remember? That’s not a metaphor or exaggeration. In my entire life, I’ve never laughed or gotten angry either─not even once.”
“Wha…”
I had felt she lacked discernable emotion, but that was judging based on Awayuki as she is now. But completely zero since early childhood? …That just can’t be possible as a human.
“It’s possible. Because my brain is made that way.”
Awayuki seemed to see through what I was thinking and tapped the side of her head with her index finger.
“Earlier I used expressions like rising up and coming down, but that’s referring to the electrical transmissions between my brain and body. For me, the speed and accuracy is abnormal. My brain is in a constantly fully active state at who knows how many tens or hundreds times normal.”
…So that’s why she has those prodigious talents.
“But is that okay? With your brain working that intensely, seems like there’d be some kind of toll─”
There I startled at my own words. Could it be─
“That’s right, Daikyo. My emotions are the toll.”
…No way.
“While my brain works extraordinarily hard, the part that controls emotions, the limbic system, is abnormally silent.”
“So it’s resting to balance out the other hyperactivity… Is that it?”
“Bingo. When I exhibit some exceptional ability, the already low limbic system brain waves drop even further… With the results being the same no matter how many times it’s measured, I can only think there’s an inversely proportional relationship between my talent and emotions. They say these values are unprecedented in human history. So brain scientists worldwide are all fired up about it.”
[A new possibility in human evolution], huh…
“It feels like I’m not even alive.”
“Gh…”
Once again, impactful words coming from Awayuki made me open my eyes wide.
“I understand this is probably when I should feel sad. And this is where I should be crying. But I can’t actually feel sad, or make tears come out.”
“…………”
“The first emotional expression humans make upon being born into this world is [crying]. Since I haven’t gone through that, my life hasn’t even started yet.”
…Her words felt somehow paradoxical.
“There’s an American saying that goes: [When you were born, you cried while everyone around you smiled. So live your life in a way that when you die, you’re smiling while everyone around you cries.]─I want that. I want to live a life where people mourn for me with a smile as I die. But my life hasn’t even begun yet. That’s why I want to cry. To start my life by crying first. That’s my dream.”
“Awayuki…”
That’s far too sorrowful to call a dre─
“Ugu…sob…uwaaaaaa!”
“…Why the heck are you crying Ohana?”
She was quietly listening the whole time, but at some point had started bawling her eyes out.
“B-Because…this is just…too much… Even though Tera-san always tries her best for others… Why can’t she make even a small wish like this come true…? Tears don’t only come out when you’re sad. Today, I really cried a lot of wonderful, moving tears. If even I can do it… God is so unfair!”
“Ohana…”
“If Tera-san wants to cry, I’ll support you with everything I’ve got! I’ll do anything I can, so…!”
“Thank you, Ohana.”
Awayuki gently patted Ohana’s head.
“…Awayuki.”
“Yes, Daikyo?”
“How do you see Ohana’s face right now? As objective data devoid of subjectivity.”
“I think it’s dirty.”
“I think so too.”
“How rude!”
I held back the snarling Ohana as she wiped her tears, and continued.
“But what if you remove the second half of the question? [How do you see Ohana’s face right now?]”
“I think it’s very beautiful.”
“I think so too.”
After agreeing, I peered closely at Ohana’s face again.
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“She’s an idiot who gets carried away easily, but pure at heart. There aren’t many who’d cry this much for someone they only started talking to properly a few days ago. Even with her face all contorted from crying, those tears are beautiful─and if you can see Ohana’s face now as beautiful, there’s emotion inside you, Awayuki. It just can’t come out.”
“Daikyo-san…”
“Right? What do you think?”
Awayuki tilted her head expressionlessly.
“Yes.”
I firmly nodded. No matter how advanced AI becomes, it couldn’t properly understand Ohana’s expression right now.
“But the reality is we’ve hit a dead end… No matter how much we get fired up to make me cry, it’s meaningless if I can’t come up with a way to output those emotions I have inside.”
“Hmm… You’re right… ……………………………………Ah, I’ve got an idea!”
After pondering deeply for a while, Ohana clapped her hands.
“If just Daikyo and I aren’t enough, we can get everyone to help!”
“Everyone?”
“That’s right, Tera-san. Let’s exercise our [right of assembly]!
Right of assembly? …Oh yeah, I think Ohana was saying something about that being one of the Ten-Sai privileges… But what exactly is that right?
“It’s true I haven’t used my right of assembly yet but… for what?”
“To hold a [Make Tera Awayuki Cry] meeting with the whole school involved! If we dangle the Ten-Sai position as bait, participants will flock in and it’ll be a huge success! No doubt about it!”
I see… So it’s the right to freely set an agenda and hold a school-wide assembly.
There was a huge stage on campus too if I remember right… The Principal seems like the event-loving type, so I figured it was for times like that…but it was also because of the Ten-Sai.
“But professional work like today’s movie and therapy didn’t move me. I did have hopes for Teio academy when I decided to enroll, but turns out there are no students with specialized tear-jerking talents. Honestly, I think it would be difficult even if ordinary students without that tried their hardest.”
“Tsk tsk tsk. You don’t get it, Tera-san. An assembly is basically a festival, a festival! Talent or no talent doesn’t matter if everyone gets pumped up. The vibe is key, the air is key! If the whole venue is wrapped in a moving mood, maybe even you could cry, Tera-san!”
That’s certainly a valid point.
Awayuki’s perspective reflects her tendency to try and understand emotions through logic, but “crying” is not something you can achieve by simply reasoning it out. Sometimes, it’s important to go with the flow and let things happen naturally.
“Besides, today’s movie and therapy session were meant for a general audience. But this gathering is for the sole purpose of making Tera-san cry. The motivation might be to aim for Tenjiku, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is the feeling directed towards it—the sense of presence, the intensity!”
Oh, Ohana is making unexpectedly reasonable points… For an idiot, that’s almost sage-like…
“Daikyo has a face that says [Oh, Ohana is making unexpectedly reasonable points… For an idiot, that’s almost sage-like…]”
“Are you psychic!?”
“How rude!”
Ohana and I yelled simultaneously.
“W-Well, maybe I could’ve worded that better, but I’m totally on board with Ohana’s opinion.”
“Hmm… Certainly, there may be something to it in terms of emotional contagion… Alright. If you both say so, I’ll keep an open mind and think positively about it.”
Still expressionless as ever, but Awayuki nodded up and down as if convinced.
“Yes! With this, hope is in sight, Daikyo-san!”
“Yeah…you’re right.”
…Hm? Why did I just hesitated a little there?
“Huh? What’s wrong? Something on your mind?”
What is it… I don’t have any objection to using the right of assembly, but this feeling like something’s stuck in my chest…
“Nah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
No no, we finally have momentum to make Awayuki cry, I can’t rain on the parade─
【Choose 】
1 Have an erection right here and now
2 Go home and Have an erection at home in front of your mother
“May I cry?”
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