Episode 8 – The Budding of Incomprehensible Emotions
 

 
I work part-time at a western food restaurant in the shopping district.
 
Today is Tanaka’s day off.
 
I’m terrible at customer service, so I focus on food preparation and washing dishes.
 
The busy rush hour was like a battlefield. …I know actual battlefields are more hellish, this is just a metaphor.
 
“Hey! The fish is burning! Bring it out quickly!”
 
“Can I get the bill please!”
 
“The order for table 2 is wrong! I need the gratin!”
 
“Are you serious! You… take this out first!”
 
“Murakami– wrong order again! How many times already!”
 
“Oh shoot, I’ll be careful~”
 
I started this part-time job about 6 months ago.
 
Thanks to Tanaka’s training, I’ve slowly gotten used to this work.
 
Watching people’s movements and providing what’s needed to who needs it–
 

The chef seems to be looking for something.
 
While washing dishes, I place serving plates in front of the chef on my way to put away the clean dishes.
 
“Thanks, you’re a big help!”
 
I bow my head like Sasaki taught me.
 
The bussing (clearing empty plates) tasks is falling behind while the dishwashing is almost done.
 
To avoid being spoken to by customers, I clear plates from finished tables.
 
The timing here is most important to me. In the past, I’ve angered customers many times by being spoken to by adults I don’t know. When spoken to by adults I don’t know, my mind goes completely blank.
 
Adults are incredibly frightening to me.
 
Today is a rare day without Tanaka. The chef is in the kitchen. There’s no one to help. But I want to help with service.
 
I slip into the hall without making a presence. In an instant, I grasp which tables haven’t been bussed and take action.
 
Somehow, without being spoken to, I finish bussing and devote myself to the dishwashing once more.
 

 
“Man, Toudou, you’re diligent so you’re a big help. Thanks again. Great work!”
 
“Yes, if I’m of use like this–“
 
When spoken to by the chef I get nervous. The chef waved his hand as he headed to the office.
 
As I’m changing in the break room, the male college student part-timers come in.
 
“I’m beat~, it was crazy busy today.”
 
“Oh yeah, I got yelled at by the chef again… this is just a part-time job right?”
 
“You’re aiming to become a chef right? Can’t be helped. Hey, let’s go drinking.”
 
“Oh, Kiyomi is coming too right?”
 
“No way! I’m gonna make my move on her.”
 
I bow my head to the college students. But there is no reaction.
 
The college student part-timers treat me like I don’t exist.
 
A man who can only wash dishes and do food prep. That was my evaluation.
 
There are no greetings at all. No, sometimes they’ll talk to me to joke around when girls are present. …It seemed they were enjoying my reactions. I don’t understand what was so funny.
 
But I understood it wasn’t very nice laughter.
 

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Since Tanaka isn’t here, there’s no need to wait today.
 
As I quickly changed and was about to leave the staff room, a university student named Murakami approached me.
 
“Hey, Toudou, you go to the same school as Tanaka, right? Hey, next time, make sure to join our drinking party. I’m kinda into her type.”
 
“Hey, you can’t be messing with high school girls!”
 
“Huh? It’s fine. There are quite a few guys at work dating high school girls, you know?”
 
“Well, she does have a cute face.”
 
“But her personality is tough.”
 
Oh, I need to contact Tanaka about the cafe situation. I always end up putting it off. I get stuck thinking about what message to send.
 
I should just send the date and time. I’ll send the message later.
 
“Hey, are you listening? Answer me!”
 
“Yeah, I’m listening.”
 
“Huh? Are you disrespecting me? Use polite language!”
 
“Hey, Murakami, cut it out. He’s a high school student, you know? Besides, Toudou started working here before you, so you’re the junior.”
 
“Haha, use polite language with him.”
 
“Toudou seems scared. Be gentle with him.”
 
“No, no, this guy is creepy. I do mixed martial arts, so handling someone like him is a piece of cake.”
 
Ah, he’s saying this about me.
 
Since the conversation wasn’t pleasant, I pretended not to hear and said,
 
“I’ll go ahead—”
 
As I left the staff room, I could hear laughter even outside.
 
They must be laughing at me.
 
I can’t cause any trouble. The chef hired me, and it might cause inconvenience for Tanaka. Plus, I don’t know how to handle this situation. Getting angry will only lead to problems. I don’t care about myself, but it bothers me when they talk about Tanaka.
 

 
–What does everyone do in times like this?
 

 
I don’t know the right answer.
 
Those people are kind to me and teach me work when alone.
 
But they change when in a group.
 
It’s okay, they’re irrelevant people so it won’t hurt.
 
So not getting involved is probably best.
 

 
Leaving the shop, I buy a drinks from the nearby vending machine. My daily routine on days I work.
 
Today, I’ll try challenging this thing called coffee. Which one is super sweet?
 
I’ve heard adult men drink coffee. Today I feel like drinking coffee.
 

 
“Yoo-hoo! You’re here! I knew you’d be here. Hehe, I was just at karaoke! And I thought it’d be about time for Toudou to finish work!”
 
“Ta, Tanaka?”
 
I turn around and Tanaka is there in her school uniform. The boy from before is with her.
 
They’re standing close. It looks like they’re holding hands. Seeing that, it feels like my heart leaped up.
 
The boy greeted me with a slight bow, so I return a bow. His gaze is observing me. A flawless composure. His center of gravity is stable. His dignified form is very cool.
 
He bids farewell to Tanaka and leaves the scene.
 

 
Tanaka sees him off, waving both hands. Her gesture is very cute. Even I can tell her affection is directed at him.
 
…What is this? I’m feeling a strange emotion. This is the first time. I’m curious about Tanaka and that guy’s relationship? No, those two must be a couple. Tanaka and him suited each other very well.
 
There’s no room for me to enter. …Why am I thinking such things? I’m unrelated. Get your emotions in order.
 
I thought the fuzzy feeling would disappear with deep breaths. But it won’t go away.
 
After seeing him off for a while, Tanaka faces me. Her smiling face illuminated by the vending machine light was dazzling.
 
“Even though I went to all the effort of coming to pick you up today, you could look a little happier!
 
“No, I’m really happy. Really–“
 
Seeing her smile, the feelings of isolation and haziness in my heart disappeared.
 
I felt kindly. Yet my chest hurts a little.
 
What is this?
 
“Hehe, good! I was worried since we don’t work together today, and you’re always by yourself Toudou!”
 
The chef is considerate and always schedules Tanaka and I for the same shifts. Of course there are days we aren’t together like today.
 
Tanaka goes “alley oop” as she comes beside me.
 
We start walking.
 
“You made up with Hanazono right? I’m glad!
 
“If you hadn’t pushed me, it wouldn’t have happened. Thank you.”
 
“Wh, being thanked with a serious face… we, well it makes me happy!”
 
“And, how did you make up?”

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