Two Childhood Friends Chapter 17

Chapter 17 Eh, It’s a Pain in the Ass


Several days had passed since that aggravating dungeon exploration. We returned to the academy and have been attending classes every day.
[You make going on a simple exploration sound aggravating…]
The parasite’s voice rings out. Well, if it was just normal exploring somewhere off-limits, I wouldn’t go that far.
But I was made to battle monsters that nearly destroyed the world.
That’s messed up, right? A huge problem, right?
Why do kids who just graduated middle school have to put their lives on the line fighting? Are we child soldiers?
[But in the end, you and Kirako didn’t tell the media or the board of education or anything. I’m impressed. I take back what I said.]
As the parasite says, Kirako and I haven’t leaked that incident externally. It was pretty absurd seeing full-grown adults bowing their heads apologetically to me.
That’s not to say I was satisfied just with that, of course. Naturally, I have plans of my own.
Heh, well, instead of losing my temper and costing Urazumi’s group their heads, I came up with a better idea.
I smugly explain to the clueless parasite. By keeping this scandal contained, the teachers will become more attentive to my feelings.
Obviously, right?
I’m basically holding a time bomb that could blow everything open if I report this externally.
If I detonated that, they wouldn’t just lose their jobs – they’d likely face intense public backlash.
In other words, they’ll give me preferential treatment without me even needing to ask, to avoid offending me.
Unconsciously, they’ll constantly be aware of me and act so as not to upset me. It’s only natural to want to protect your social status and foothold once you’ve attained some degree of it.
I’ll take advantage of that. Getting favored treatment from teachers makes school life very comfortable.
I was planning to trick and use them externally, but… By staying silent, my reputation rises while they voluntarily let themselves be used. I brought about an ideal situation.
Man…I might be a genius…
[The fact that you can think like this right after graduating middle school means there’s definitely something wrong with you…]
Call me wise, call me wise.
“So basically, when exploring dungeons, you should act in groups rather than alone. That way you can cover each other’s weaknesses and help each other out.”
We’re in dungeon studies class. As you’d expect from the Special Abilities Development Academy.
Normal schools probably wouldn’t even discuss dungeons, let alone teach exploration methods. Well, I have absolutely no desire to learn this stuff.
No interest at all.
“Teacher, is that the duty of all special ability users?”
“No, it’s not that simple. If you have confidence in yourself and your abilities are recognized by the country, you can explore dungeons solo. I could do it if I wanted. I’m certified. Though it’s a pain, so no way.”
Why is she even working as a teacher? How many times has she muttered about things being a pain, this white-haired loli bombshell?
She’s clearly socially maladjusted.
[Says the absolute misfit…]
Absolute!? What do you mean by that!?
Anyway, exploring in groups huh. I recall what Urazumi said.
Honestly, I don’t like moving with a huge crowd. If I’m with a thoughtless mob, I might get mistaken for one of them.
[Where does this limitless confidence that you alone are special come from…]
Well, if I think of them as meat shields, decoys, and sacrifices, I guess it’s fine. Even if they die, if I pretend to regret it and cry, my reputation will go up.
They’re all just my stepping stones.
[You really are a monster. I don’t think there’s ever been a human as twisted as you.]
A monster capturing this ikemen… As I ponder that, my classmates bombard Urazumi with more questions.
I love it…


“Teacher, why do we have to explore such dangerous dungeons…?”
“Ah… Do you guys know what happened when dungeons suddenly appeared?”
“Special ability users emerged because of the dungeon appearances, right?”
“Yeah, something like that. Some preexisting special ability users probably went public thanks to this, but that doesn’t really matter. I’m not interested.”
Maybe some of those people talking about psychic powers and stuff before were actually special ability holders. Though I thought it was all bogus back then, and still do now.
“Seven underground labyrinths suddenly manifested around the world. Those are dungeons.”
History class?
Not interested…
[There aren’t any classes you are interested in.]
Ones about becoming a parasite, finding hosts, stuff like that.
[What exactly are you trying to learn at an educational institution…]
“Monsters called Demons poured out from those dungeons and destroyed nations and civilization. Only Japan, America, and China are said to have successfully suppressed them.”
“W-wait, so other places were destroyed?”
“I don’t know if ‘destroyed’ is the right term. Some countries continue fighting at a disadvantage even now. It’s not like they were all massacred, so the details are unclear since we can’t contact them. Though I’m sure India is still locked in fierce combat.”
I see, rough times huh. Well, doesn’t concern me.
“We don’t remember much, but was it really such a terrible battle?”
“Dungeons aren’t uniform in scale, and the number and strength of monsters also differs. In Japan’s case, we may have gotten lucky or just by chance managed to suppress it. Still, the damage was massive. Millions of casualties.”
Well, no duh when monsters suddenly pop up domestically and go on a rampage.
It was ordinary citizens who awakened powers early and cooperated to hold them back that stopped that.
Now they act all heroic. Right, Kirako!?
“That’s why we need to investigate dungeons, to prevent such a tragedy from recurring. If we notice signs, we can prepare countermeasures. You were all forced to enroll here for that purpose.”
Even so, disregarding my will and forcibly determining my path isn’t acceptable. Why don’t you just have those other guys do it?
…Why should I risk my life exploring dungeons for strangers I don’t even know.
“Don’t look so unwilling. It’s dangerous, but the compensation is extremely good. The pay is high, and the country will buy dungeon discoveries off you for a premium. Becoming a billionaire in a year isn’t a dream.”
Looks like I wasn’t the only one unhappy. But openly showing it is amateur.
I won’t let it show on my face at all. To placate those types, Urazumi talked about monetary benefits.
Fixed wages plus commission-based?
[Yes! This will makes you a little more motivated to explore dungeons!]
Do you think I’m stingy!? But there’s no need whatsoever for me to explore dangerous dungeons myself.
No, it’s best to force some girl I catch to explore while I comfortably leech off her in safety. Yeah, I’ll do that.
Luckily there are plenty of parasite host candidates at this academy, so I’ll have no shortage.
Huh. The world really does revolve around me after all.
“So that’s the gist of it. Work hard, all of you.”
Urazumi ends the discussion like that. Which is fine, but…
Hey, could you do something about this idiot Kakushigi who keeps poking my back? What are you doing, Kakushigiiii!?
It hurts, damnit! If you keep doing that stuff, the chime rings.
Ugh, still not over huh. Wanna go home…
“Alright, next is PE. Everyone get changed and gather outside.”
“What are we doing in PE?”
“This is the Special Abilities Development Academy. There’s only one thing we should be doing, right?”
Urazumi looks over the class with her sharp eyes below her dark circles.
“Special training using your special abilities.”
Ugh, what a pain.

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