Which means it’s decided I’ll be Houjou’s slave…and simultaneously, I’ve failed to make her apologize to Mihaneya… Dammit…!
“…………”
Despite the outcome already being decided, perhaps due to my excessively crude remark, Houjou stares vacantly into space, stunned.
“…………No way.”
Hm? …Something seems off?
“It’s a lie…right? But it being by chance is even more…impossible.”
Muttering something, Houjou rakes her hair with her hands and turns her gaze to me.
“You did it…Ootomo Youta!”
“Huh? …Did what?”
“Oh…playing dumb huh.”
What is Houjou talking about?
“W-What do you mean, Houjou?”
Sakuraba makes the same confused expression as me and questions Houjou.
“You know Mitera, the flagship of my family’s Houjou apparel division?”
“Um, yes…you guys bombard us with CMs and stuff, even I as a guy know about it. It’s the ‘anytime, anywhere, anyone’ thing right?”
“That’s right. That phrase has been broadcast for over half a century, permeating the Japanese public. We want it worn anytime, anywhere, by any woman…that was the feeling put into it…but recently, the ‘anyone’ part got an update.”
“Uhh…what kind of update?”
“Venturing into men’s underwear – riding the recent gender-free wave, Mitera pivoted in a new direction. Rather than launching a separate men’s sub-brand, selling men and women’s underwear equally under the Mitera name worked to achieve true ‘anyone’. Mitera men’s is still just starting with limited pre-sales, so most being unaware is natural.”
“I-I see…but what does that have to do with this match?”
“Not many know the etymology, but…Mitera derives from the Greek for ‘mother’.”
“Mother…Ah! No…way!”
“Yes…that ‘no way’.”
Seems others caught on, but I still don’t get it at all so please explain further.
“This man…Ootomo Youta, is right now undoubtedly wearing Mitera brand men’s underwear.”
Huh? …Well I’ve got some 190 yen Donki panties with a shitty mascot called Furikake-kun on them, but…
“And he used the term ‘mother’s pants’ not in the literal sense of his own mother’s underwear, but as a metaphor for Mitera panties.”
No…I was going with my actual mom’s panties the whole time…
“He then skillfully guided the situation into a debate match with me…even setting themes extremely disadvantageous to himself. Then once pushed to the brink, he would reveal that fact… As heir to the Houjou, I cannot refute Mitera panties and the ‘anytime, anywhere, anyone’ concept…I would have no choice but to acknowledge wearing ‘mother’s panties’ to school is okay – producing a brilliant reversal.”
Sakuraba, looking somewhat uneasy, tentatively spoke to Houjou, who had a resentful expression.
“U-um, Houjou-san, don’t you think you’re overthinking this a bit…?”
I share the same sentiment.
“Too naive… Way too naive! I mean, if that weren’t the case, why would you declare that you were wearing your mother’s panties on your first day at a new school? That’s just completely insane!”
Well, yes, it is insane. These choices in my head are completely insane.
“Do you really think you would willingly strike such a humiliating pose? Or that you’d tell me to take off your diaper…? …Not by my own will, but deliberately making me take it off in front of you, just to reveal the truth at the most effective moment! That’s the only way to explain it! I’ll say it as many times as it takes, but if that’s not the case, then you’re completely insane!”
No… I’m being forced into completely insane actions…
“It was all… planned from the moment you entered the classroom. While playing the fool, secretly plotting to take me down, Reina Houjou, the top of this class.”
“W-what diabolical cunning… To choose such an extremely high-risk, high-reward option… Your courage is beyond half measures…”
No, it’s a high-risk, no-reward situation.
“I let my guard down… I thought you were just an idiot and underestimated you… I had information that Principal Ōgami had scouted you directly!”
” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” “? ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ”
My classmates’ eyes widen in astonishment.
“What!? Ōgami-sensei…?”
“Yep… She’s rumored to only scout the very best for Ten Sai until now…”
Wait, this can’t be true… The reaction to just Principal Ōgami’s direct scout… Her influence in the school seems even greater than I imagined. And because she’s held in such reverence, everyone’s judgment is clouded.
Well, regardless of the reason, this works out well for me. It means I can push through this situation, right? Alright! Misunderstanding or not, as long as I can get through this, I’ll take anything–
“…But we’re not done yet! …What just happened was merely a deduction. I’m 99% certain, but I won’t give up until I’ve considered every 1% possibility. Ootomo, show it here. But of course, not everything. Just shift your jersey slightly and reveal a bit of the waistband of your underwear. If there’s a [Mitera] logo there… I’ll admit defeat.”
………………………Huh?
“U-uh, whoa! This is getting interesting!”
“What’s happening… What’s the real story?”
“Idiot, this is just a formal confirmation for Houjou-san to accept her loss. She even said it’s 99% certain herself.”
“That’s right… With Principal Ōgami’s seal of approval…”
“Yeah, it’s obvious that [Mitera]’s logo will come up and settle the matter!”
Wait, what…? When I lift my jersey, it’s revealing [Furikake-kun]…
“””””Pull it down! Pull it down! Pull it down! Pull it down! Pull it down!”””””
What do I do…? In the midst of all this excitement, if something different from everyone’s expectations comes up–
It’s the worst… I’ve lost all my dignity in this classroom.
There’s no way to turn things around from here… No, there is one way, and that’s the transcendent power of my brain choices.
With that power, I can create an ultra twist where my [Furikake-kun] panties magically transform into [Mitera]’s.
But such a convenient miracle happening is.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
【Choose ]
① The underwear you’re wearing transforms into Soboro-chan from the “Meal Friends” series.
② The underwear you’re wearing transforms into Polo-chan from the “Tonight’s Friend” series.】
Yeah, I was stupid for getting my hopes up!
Ugh…the premise of my underwear transforming was right but it’s still frustrating…though it doesn’t matter unless it becomes Mitera.
The moment I reluctantly select 1,
“………… I felt a slight discomfort in the lower half of my body.
a slight discomfort comes from my lower body.
Seems my Furikake-kun did change to Soboro-chan…so what’s the point?
“”””Tug it down! Tug it down! Tug it down! Tug it down! Tug it down!””””
Oblivious to my lament, my expectant classmates continue their excited chant.
I can’t refuse this… Dammit…!
With agonized resignation, I grab the elastic of my jersey and tug it down.
In that instant–
Ping!
A pleasant ping rings out as something white comes flying through the window.
“Gaaaahhhh! ”
It impacts straight into the exposed upper line of my underwear.
Vrrrrrrrrrr!
“Oof!”
It must have been spinning fiercely as it gouges slightly into my underwear before finally dropping to the floor.
[S-Sorry! You okay?!]
The voice sounds the same as the one from the principal’s office this morning… Seems it was a home run ball from the baseball team practicing outside.
Unlucky…what’re the odds of this twice in one day…
“My my, what unlikely timing for happenings, but…”
Unable to stop posing, Sakuraba returns the ball while taking over as emcee.
“This is no time for that! Just what was Ootomo wearing– Huh?”
What was written there was the six characters for soboro…or rather, had been six characters.
The earlier spinning seems to have gouged away the last two characters. It looks as if nothing had ever been there… Leaving four nonsensical characters, sobo, remaining.
“It’s not…Mitera?”
“Huh? What’s going on? Even Houjou was 99% sure…”
“He’s really just some pervert?”
“Doesn’t seem like mom’s panties either though.”
“No, he’s definitely got something weird on underneath.”
Oh no…it’s over…
My peaceful school life comes crashing down–
Thud.
“What the…hell…”
Houjou sinks to her knees.
………… Huh?
“N-No way… Just what is…this guy really…”
As everyone struggles to comprehend the situation, Houjou grabs her head and trembles violently.
“Uh, what’s going on Houjou? Since it wasn’t the Mitera brand after all, it must have just been a coincidence with the same lettering right…?”
Sakuraba questions Houjou with the same confused expression as me.
“Absolutely not. If anything, this is worse than I imagined!”
“Huh?”
“Look closely. What you see now is sobo… Convert that to kanji and what do you get?”
“Uh? …Ah…ahhhhhhhhhhh!?”
“Yes…[Grandmother]. He didn’t need to wear the Mitera men’s underwear to win. Dissatisfied with that, wearing the existence above Mitera – [Grandmother] – he produced an even more complete victory to flaunt being on a different level from you all!”
“Whaaaaaaat theeeeeeee helllllllllll!?”
Whaaaaaaat theeeeeeee helllllllllll!?
“S-So he intentionally made some incomprehensible gesture? If Houjou hadn’t noticed, he would have explained it himself later for maximum impact…right? But that way the effect seems like it’d be diluted–”
“No…a true strategist incorporates their opponent’s intellect and personality into their plans. Him getting me to realize ‘mother’ = ‘Mitera’, coming up with the men’s Mitera, telling me to show the logo…he predicted it all, and…I completely danced in Ootomo Youta’s palm.”
“Th-That can’t be…incorporating even Houjou’s excellence…I can’t believe a high schooler is capable of that!”
It’s a lie so you shouldn’t believe it.
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