bserving her, the armored man sighed again, looking even more exasperated.
“…I still can’t stand you, you know.”
“…”
“Listen, I love myself the most. I value myself above all else and I only think about myself. I don’t care about others, as long as I’m okay.”
Speaking as if in soliloquy, the armored man uttered his words.
“I consider myself the most important and can even say that I love myself. I like everything about myself, my handsome face, my personality, my name… I’ve never thought of myself as unpleasant even once. That’s why–“
Raising his voice, he continued.
“I despise people like you who can’t even love and cherish themselves. I detest those who can’t appreciate themselves. It makes me sick.”
He spat out those words as if discarding them, with a deeply disgruntled tone.
“Moreover, I didn’t like you from the beginning. You have no aspirations, you’ve given up on life, and you’re locked up in a prison with a face that says you’ve lost hope. I didn’t know about your blessing at that time, so it couldn’t be helped… but now it’s different. You refuse to change the current situation and you keep being held back by the past—what a coward.”
The armored man spoke one belittling word after another, berating and denying the girl.
The girl just stood there quietly, bowing her head, saying nothing in response to his words.
She thought she would be fine no matter what he said.
“…Anyway, the reasons that led you to this state can’t be that significant, right? Did your parents get killed? Or did they abandon you? Well, either way… I don’t understand why you’d want to die over that. Are you an idiot?”
However, despite his provoking and exasperating attitude, she couldn’t help but react to his callous and insensitive insults.
“…What do you know about me?”
That’s why, even though she had no intention of saying anything, those words slipped out. She couldn’t tolerate his insensitive insults without knowing anything about the circumstances.
“I lost my sister because of this blessing…”
“Ahh, never mind, you don’t have to say it. I don’t care about what happened in your past, and I don’t want to hear it.”
“—! In that case, you pretend to understand—”
Staring at the armored man with an irritated expression, the girl’s voice grew harsh. However, the armored man continued to speak, paying no attention to her.
“I don’t know anything about you, and I have no intention of knowing. You must have gone through a lot, I’ll give you that. I truly sympathize with that. But…”
The armored man continued his words.
“But because of that, it seems like you’re just running away when you give up on your own life. Even if you lose your family, even if you fail repeatedly, even if you can’t use magic or have no talent—if you give up and stop, it’s just running away. As long as you’re alive, it’s nothing more than an excuse.”
“…An excuse?”
She repeated his words while glaring at him.
“Yeah, it’s an excuse. …In the first place, anything can be overcome in life. If you really hate it, you can just throw everything away. Forget about the past and focus only on the future. Don’t worry about the people around you, just do what you want. …Because, in the end, doing what you want is the most important thing as a human.”
“…!”
The girl found herself unable to respond to his idealistic reasoning that seemed to taunt and frustrate her. Certainly, his words were not wrong. No matter how difficult things might be, if you forget and look to the future, you can avoid causing yourself suffering. But, that kind of thing…
“It’s impossible.”
It was impossible for her. The armored man’s reasoning was something that a weak-hearted girl like her couldn’t achieve.
Abandoned by her parents and turned into a slave,
Betrayed repeatedly after having expectations,
Unwanted by anyone,
Not wanting to kill anyone but forced to kill because of her blessing…
After living such a life, she couldn’t have any hope for the future. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, had no dreams or goals. She couldn’t forget the past and live for the future.
“What? It’s not impossible, no matter what you say. Besides, if you had such a powerful blessing, you shouldn’t have become a slave in the first place. If someone tried to forcefully capture you, you should have been able to kill them with the power of your blessing.”
The armored man interrogated the girl with an aggressive tone.
It was true… She could have escaped before becoming a slave. If she had wanted to run away, she could have used the power of her blessing to kill everyone and escape. But…
“…I couldn’t do that.”
It was something she couldn’t do. No matter how much she wanted to live or escape… She didn’t want to kill someone of her own will.
“You can’t, you can’t… Is that all you can say? You’re just making excuses.”
“…Then, what should I have done?”
“What should I do? I don’t expect you to know. Your life is not for me to decide. To be honest, whether you live or die doesn’t matter to me at all… I’m just expressing my displeasure with you through words. You, who wish to die and want someone else to kill you, are so dependent and negative.”
The armored man spat out his words with an air of complete indifference.
“What’s that?!” slipped out of her mouth. She was dumbfounded by the armored man’s habit of insulting and spouting irresponsible words without knowing the situation.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
“What do you understand about me? You don’t know a single thing about me…”
“I don’t know and don’t care about all that. I don’t possess any power to read hearts. Besides, I have no interest in it and it doesn’t matter. If you want me to listen, I’ll listen? I’ll say, ‘Oh, poor you.'”
“…In any case, it’s pointless to say anything to someone like you. You claim to be strong, but you don’t understand my feelings.”
“Huh? Strong? On the contrary, I’ve been working hard, defeating monsters and training to become stronger. Did you think there were strong people right from the start?”
“But… I…”
She lowered her head and spoke with a strained voice.
“Actually… I don’t understand why you didn’t escape from that prison. In the end, it would have led to killing someone using the power of blessing, so you should have killed the nobles to escape. …Oh, maybe you actually wanted to remain a slave? Did you happily kill people, thinking that you had no choice and was being forced to do it?”
“—! That’s not… true.”
With mocking attitude, the armored man’s callous words caused the girl’s eyes to widen in anger, and her trembling lips. She couldn’t understand what this man was saying. Did she want to remain a slave? Did she enjoy killing people? There was no way, absolutely no way…
“Well, who knows? The truth is–“
“I could never kill someone on my own…! I never wanted to kill anyone! I never wanted to become a slave!”
Interrupting the armored man’s words, the girl shouted with a strained voice. She had no intention of refuting anything, but she couldn’t bear the armored man’s mocking words without knowing the circumstances.
“Abandoned by my family… betrayed repeatedly when I wanted someone to help me… no one believed in me… no one needed me! I didn’t do anything wrong, but because of this blessing…”
The feelings she thought she had lost long ago were now being voiced one after another.
“I… just wanted to live a happy life, like everyone else…”
But… what came out of her mouth was the opposite, a longing for life. She didn’t even understand why she shouted such things. She was just venting the emotions she had kept deep inside as words.
“Well, it seems like you don’t really want to die, huh.”
“—! That’s… not true…”
The armored man’s mocking attitude changed completely, and he murmured in a gentle tone.
She had sincerely wanted to die.
As a “demon,” she believed she shouldn’t live. That’s why she had to die as soon as possible.
But… she couldn’t find words to refute the armored man’s statement.
“Alright, then here’s a suggestion from me. From now on, just do what you want. Live as you please.”
The armored man spoke with a cheerful tone.
“…I can’t do that.”
“You can’t? Why not? You’re not bound by anyone anymore. There’s nothing you can’t do.”
The armored man asserted clearly. But…
“I can’t live… that’s why… I have to die… that’s what everyone…”
“Everyone?” “Does that include someone important to you?”
He said in a curious tone.
“I don’t care about what those worthless people say… it’s just a matter of not letting it bother you. It’s impossible to be liked by everyone. It’s just tiring to think about it. What’s more important is… not others, but what you want for yourself. You should do what you want.”
“…What I want…”
“That’s right. There must be something you want to do. Something you wanted to do in the past.”
When he said that, she thought for a moment, but…
“…There’s nothing.”
She answered immediately. She couldn’t find anything even if she tried to think.
Upon hearing the girl’s response, the armored man asked, “None? Not a single one?” The girl nodded while keeping her face lowered.
“Well, then you can start searching from now on. You’re around eleven years old, right? You have plenty of time.”
“…Even if I live, no one will ever think I’m needed.”
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