Episode 4 – The Leather Shoes I Can’t Throw Away
Lunch break was ending and I returned to the classroom, but Hanazono was already gone.
Michiba is chatting with her friends. She glances my way then looks away, having lost interest.
“Huh? Rokka, you’re done with Toudou-kun? I thought you were kinda obsessed with him?”
“Hm? Oh, I’m over it. I didn’t think he wouldn’t get that joke at all. Hey, listen, that guy, on Saturday–“
“Ah, ahaha, Rokka-chan you do some crazy stuff.”
“Well, I was totally certain he liked me. Though he was just someone who taught me stuff. When he talks he only says [I’ll take care of it] [Oh, I see] right? But when it’s studying or stuff he’s good at he’ll chatter on and on–“
“U-um, Rokka-chan…Toudou-kun is in the classroom already…”
“I know. We’re done right? Not like that lying girl, I’m not interested in gloomy loners. And it’s not like he can hear us.”
I reset my feelings for Michiba.
So no matter what she says, my heart won’t hurt. Actually I think Tanaka was right.
I was just throwing a tantrum like a kid. Maybe I should’ve handled it better.
But still, at that time I couldn’t tolerate Michiba and my classmates’ actions.
To think I should tolerate being treated like that just because it’s human relationships…
–Alright, I’ll regain my composure and focus on class. Though there’s no point in being taught things I already know. I decided to properly think about how I can get along with my classmates.
In the end, the last class finished without me coming up with any good ideas.
The teacher leaves the classroom after the final homeroom session ends, and my classmates immediately start making noise.
“Yo, club today?”
“Nice! Let’s go to the game center!”
“Hey, wanna stop by McD’s? Tests are done after all.”
“Part-time job, part-time job!”
“You read that manga? It’s so good! You don’t have it!? I’ll lend it to you!”
Everyone looks like they’re having fun. …Just watching them is enough to put me in a good mood.
In middle school I learned that when I try to join them, I can sense the atmosphere getting disrupted. Their gazes scared me–I didn’t know what to talk about.
Despite being physically close…it felt so distant.
–That was a wall.
Also, I have no hobbies. I don’t play games or listen to music. I’ve barely read any manga or novels. When I go home I just exercise or study.
Nothing in common to talk about.
I recall Tanaka from lunch.
…Maybe I need to try more varied experiences. But how would that help me get along with them? My classmates use polite language when talking to me. Michiba was the only one who talked to me normally.
How did I become friends with Tanaka and Hanazono? It’s a mystery even to myself…
But is it necessary for me to get along with everyone? I have no issues living alone. Thinking about it makes me feel a little lonely though.
I know, the way I am now isn’t good. I need to improve little by little. I don’t need to become one of the socially successful kids in class. Just aim for normal.
While the class boisterously chatters, I leave the classroom.
Exiting the classroom…I see Hanazono’s back as she walks down the hallway with her friends.
Hanazono is happily chatting with her friends. Her back gets further and further away.
–A convenient boy, huh…
It’s thanks to Hanazono that I’ve been able to live a normal school life without being bullied. But I erased my feelings for her instantly.
I don’t regret it. Once erased, feelings don’t return.
“Senpaaaaai! Toudou-senpaaai! Can you hear meeee!?”
As I changed from indoor shoes to loafers and tried to exit the building to the courtyard, I ran into an underclassman acquaintance, Sasami Mimi.
“Oh, Sasami. Energetic as always.”
“Yes sir! Of course! I’ll give it my all at club today too! Our tournament is coming up after all. Hehe, thanks to you senpai, I’m sure we’ll win the next meet!”
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READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
scene transition
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Sasami is in the track and field club.
She’s a girl I met while jogging in the mornings. When I passed Sasami who was running ahead of me, she got fired up and started chasing after me. At the time I paid her no mind and just kept running through my daily jogging routine. When I finished, Sasami came up to me out of breath and said:
[How can you run so fast!? Are you in the track club? That jersey is from that high school right? Mimi is planning to take the exam for that school too! Senpai, your form is amazing and…you’re not even out of breath! Are you a monster!?]
[…I’m not in any clubs. This is just my daily jogging routine.]
[No way, that speed is insane! …Um, I’m going to keep doing track in high school, so would you maybe run together with me again sometime? Please become Mimi’s coach!]
[Well, I don’t mind that. ……]
And that’s how my relationship with my underclassman Sasami began.
But in reality it was just simply running together. After finishing running, I would check her form and muscle use, and help put together her training regimen.
I felt like I had gained a little sister.
Sasami was always energetic and doing her best, it was cute. When she succeeded in getting into high school, I gave her a small present. It was the brand of athletic shoes she had wanted.
Once in high school, Sasami steadily improved, and as a first year was able to qualify for competitions.
I felt truly happy for her as if it were my own accomplishment.
Sasami, true to her simple desires, had no reservations with me her senior. Her passion for track and field was genuine.
“You have club now right? Don’t overwork yourself.”
“Ehehe, I know! Oh, senpai, will you come watch the meet? I’d be happy if you came!”
“I’ll take care of it…”
“What kind of response is that! Please make sure to come watch!”
Sasami and I converse while walking through the courtyard.
Normal everyday student life. Just that feels special to me.
My schedule fills up. For some reason I feel happy. Sasami will surely be able to win. She works so hard practicing after all.
Suddenly, looking ahead I see a male student in jersey clothes coming this way.
He’s looking at Sasami. If I remember right, he’s…
“Yo, Sasami, what’re you doing here? Hurry up and get to club.”
The one who called out to Sasami is Shimizu Hakkei from the class next to mine. The track team ace, a handsome guy with lots of friends who’s easy to talk to, he’s a true socially successful person.
I honestly think that’s amazing. People skilled at interpersonal communication are deserving of respect.
For some reason Sasami looks flustered being addressed by him.
“S-Shimizu-senpai!? Y-yes, I’ll go now!”
Sasami’s face is bright red.
I may not be able to read the atmosphere, but I’m observant.
I see, so Sasami likes him. I should leave this place for now…
Seeing Sasami look happy, I feel happy too. I want Sasami to find happiness.
I signal Sasami with my eyes that I’m going to leave, but Shimizu addresses me instead. For some reason his eyes are filled with anger.
“–You’re Toudou right. …Sorry for the suddenness at our first meeting, but why did you hurt Hana-san? I can’t forgive you.”
–I don’t understand what he’s talking about. We’re meeting for the first time. Why do I have to explain about Hanazono to him? Isn’t he supposed to be a nice guy? What’s with this hostility?
My head spins in confusion. I don’t know how to respond.
“Toudou, are you listening? I’m angry. Seeing Hana-san with such a sad face… Damn… By the way, what are you doing with our club member? Hey, Sasami what’s going on?”
More than anger, I feel malice from Shimizu.
Why must I be hated over Hanazono-san?
He’s an outsider right? Could he be…
“Does Shimizu like Hanazono-san?”
“W-what are you saying!? O-I don’t see Hana-san that way! Don’t make fun of me! You bastard, are you looking down on me!?”
“N-no, I didn’t mean that–“
“Who do you think you are? Making Hana-san cry… And you can’t even use polite language to someone you just met?”
“W-what do you mean? Shimizu and I are in the same grade, we have an equal relationship. I don’t understand…”
“Shut up, be quiet.”
–I see, he must be a good guy after all. Only nice to his friends he thinks of as such. He shows me no mercy as his enemy.
“S-senpai! Let’s go to club! Here, if we run–“
“I asked what is he to you, Sasami? An acquaintance? Or could it be, your lover?”
“No no no no, you’re wrong! He just–!”
Sasami is crazy about Shimizu-kun. It’s really obvious. Seeing such pure affection makes me feel the youth.
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It’s not than Todou doesn’t heard You; He simply doesn’t give a bloody damn about You or Your creepazoid Flunkies. Hope Michiba never approach Todou ever again. I wonder if this Sasami Chick will pull the same thing as Hanazono or Michiba? Like denying She knows Todou and say a lot of incoherent things?