Episode 2 – Classmate Michiba Rokka
 

 
I was even more socially inept in middle school than I am now.
 
Thanks to Hanazono being by my side, I was somehow able to get through school life.
 
My head understands. The memories remain.
 

 
[You idiot! That’s not food!]
 
[Why do you do things like that….I want to play with other kids too…]
 
[Huh? You’ve never been on a train? You’re kidding, right?]
 
[Haah, you’re not a little kid anymore so don’t play in the sandbox.]
 
[Here, I’ll apologize with you…]
 
[Cheer up! You’re my childhood friend after all. We’ll go eat ice cream on the way home.]
 
[See, you can smile properly. I was worried over nothing. …Ah, n-not that I was worried or anything!]
 
I don’t feel any emotion recalling those memories. Because I reset all my emotions.
 

 
The classroom is peaceful as usual today.
 
I don’t dislike this kind of tranquility. At least I don’t have to take tests with weird machines strapped to my head or do exercise until I feel like dying. I love a lukewarm life like this.
 
The classroom is overflowing with chatter from classmates during break time. Of course I’m not part of it.
 
“Hey, how’d you do on the test Yamada?”
 
“Seriously the worst, I totally failed!”
 
“I’m screwed! And that means I win! You’re treating me to karaoke today.”
 
“Hah? No way man, you treat me.”
 
It’s amazing they can get so worked up over tests.
 
…I want to have normal conversations with my classmates too. My unsociable self can’t take that first step.
 
Even when I work up the courage to talk to them, I always end up saying something weird….In middle school I failed over and over. Entering high school didn’t change things – when I try talking to classmates an awkward mood still arises. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.
 
My classmates happily chat together comparing test papers. It seems so dazzling.
 
The tests at this school aren’t that hard. I intentionally fill out about half at random and leave the rest blank so I don’t stand out with a high score. So my grades are average.
 
An ordinary, harmless student with nothing notable about him. That’s how my classmates see me.
 

“Yo! Sensei, how’d you do on the test? I bet as usual you didn’t take it seriously, right?”
 
The class president Michiba Rokka came and talked to me.
 
She’s the only classmate who talks to me, the friendless one.
 
We usually only talk in the library, so it’s rare for her to talk to me in the classroom.
 
In any case, I can feel my heart lift just from her talking to me. This must be the feeling of happiness.
 
My interactions with Michiba gave me an important reason to feel like I’m living a normal school life.
 
Michiba casually puts her hand on my shoulder.
 
The friendly and cheerful Michiba is well-liked by the entire class. And most of the boys in class are tempted by how friendly she is.
 
I can’t really tell if she’s beautiful or not, but she calls herself the cutest girl in class. That must be true.
 
I often overhear male classmates say [That girl totally likes me].
 

 
“Sorry, I’m taking it seriously. …I just lack effort.”
 
“Pfft, as if. You’re definitely a genius. Hey, so, like, let’s go to class karaoke today! You’re always alone, so it’ll be good to go occasionally, right!”
 
Like other classmates, I often find myself perplexed by the closeness in Michiba’s attitude.
 
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scene transition
 

 

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Before, when Michiba was studying alone in the library during lunch break, I couldn’t stand it and ended up giving her advice on studying.
 
Since then, teaching Michiba became a daily routine for me.
 
According to Michiba, “[Toudou’s way of teaching is really easy to understand!]” is what she said.
 

In reality, Michiba improved to the top-level grades in the class. Study sessions still continue.
 
…Since there are hardly any students who go to the library during lunch break, no one knows about it.
 
Being with Michiba was bright and enjoyable. I knew that I was considered a convenient guy for teaching her, or so they said behind my back.
 
Even so, Michiba would engage in conversation with awkward me. Just that made me feel favorable as a classmate.
 
“Karaoke, huh… I’ll handle it.”
 
“Haha, ‘handle it’? You’re not an old man, you know. Oh, by the way, did you break up with Hanazono?”
 
“Why would that happen? We weren’t dating in the first place. Rather, she and I are just childhood friends. Nothing more nothing less.”
 
After a puzzled moment, Michiba smiled.
 
“Hmm, then, how about this. Hey, about karaoke… how about going together, just the two of us?”
 
“No, I’ll pass.”
 
Michiba is an important classmate. It would be troublesome if she misunderstood things. Even though I have favorable feelings, it’s only as classmates, not romantic.
 
“–Huh, ‘I’ll pass.’ That quick response is annoying… hey, if you don’t want to be alone with me, come with us after school today. If you don’t come, I won’t talk to you anymore, okay?
 
Hmm, being asked like that is troubling.
 
“I understand. I’ve never been to karaoke so I’m nervous.”
 
“Ahaha, it’ll be fine! You’ll definitely get along better with our classmates! So after school, ‘kay? I’ll contact you later!”
 
In the end, I was forcibly invited by Michiba to go to karaoke.
 
Going to karaoke with classmates after tests. I felt an emotion of my heart bouncing.
 
I was looking forward to it a little bit.
 

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Today was Saturday. After going home first, we were to meet in front of the karaoke box in the shopping district.
 
I decided to dress up more than usual and headed to the meeting spot.
 
I tidy my messy hair and change into going-out clothes.
 
Come to think of it, these clothes were picked out by Hanazono.
 
[You have no fashion sense!? Even if it’s not a date–no wait, it’s not a date, but when going out with a girl shouldn’t you not wear your school jersey!]
 
I was scolded like that. That day she ended up picking out clothes for me.
 
…Why am I recalling that day? I should have erased my feelings.
 
[Hmm, with your build these clothes suit you. N-not that I think you look cool or anything!]
 
What was I feeling back then?
 
Nothing comes to mind. It’s like watching a stranger’s memories.
 
My heart won’t hurt anymore.
 
–So it’s fine.
 
I switched my thoughts to karaoke and headed out.
 

 
When I arrived at the meeting spot, it seemed I was early as no one else was there yet.
 
I decided to wait while observing my surroundings.
 
Since it was a karaoke place in the city center, the passersby were dressed in various styles.
 
For some reason a lot of people were glancing my way. I don’t really like when strangers look at me. But I’m looking at them too so it’s mutual.
 
The meeting time had long passed.
 
After observing people for a while, I was playing with a cat that had sidled up to my feet.
 
I pet the cat’s head. Animals are easy to interact with. There’s no risk of messing up communication.
 
“You’re alone too, huh?”
 
“Meow~”
 
“Hmm, unfortunately I don’t have any food. Sorry.”
 
From a short distance away, a different cat meowed. The cat I was petting reacted to the meow and went over to the other cat.
 
I was alone again.
 
“…It’s nice to have friends.”
 

 
No matter how long I waited, Michiba and the others never came.
 
After around two hours probably? Waiting alone is very lonely.
 
Did I get the time wrong? The place? I start feeling anxious.
 
–There’s no way I made a mistake. When I was told the time and place I immediately took notes.
 
“…Maybe I should head home?”
 
I must have made some kind of mistake. I’ll apologize to Michiba tomorrow. As I turned to head home, my smartphone loudly rang. It was a call from Michiba.
 
“Hello–“
 
“Ahh! Toudou! You went to the wrong place!! Jeez, it can’t be helped I guess. Hurry up and come here! Everyone’s waiting!”
 
The call ended. She told me a different place than my notes said.
 
…Is this a prank? Or did I make a mistake? …Either way, I need to go for smooth interactions with Michiba in class.
 
In any case, I headed to the place Michiba specified.
 

 
Arriving at the karaoke place, I entered the box she specified–inside were two male and female high schoolers I didn’t recognize, looking unfriendly and punk-like.
 
No sign of Michiba or my classmates anywhere. I’m sure I have the right room number. Perplexed, it shows on my face.
 
“The hell you lookin’ at!? Get out, wrong room!”
 
“Oh wait, Toudou? What’re you doing here? Hey, go grab some juice from the drink bar!”
 
“Huh, you know Haru?”
 
“Know her? We work together. Ah well, who cares. Tsuyoshi get some juice, juice!”
 
“Tch, then you go get it.”
 
…I have things I want to say, but for smooth interactions I decided to just go grab juice without arguing for now. Arguing would just be a pain.
 
I wander around the unfamiliar karaoke place and arrive at the juice bar.
 

 
The girl with heavy makeup there is my coworker Tanaka Haru.
 
Tanaka is my supervisor at my part-time job.
 
We go to the same school but have never talked at school.
 
Despite her gal-like appearance, she’s a very kind girl who always covers for me when I make mistakes at work.
 
Sometimes we walk home together when our shifts end at the same time. She listened when I was having trouble with Hanazono. She’s the only one who properly listens to what I say.
 

READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM

 
…I froze in front of the juice bar.
 
I don’t know how to use this machine. Is it okay to just press buttons as I want?
 
The staff member who was serving saw me, but ignored me and disappeared to the back…. Hmm…. I need to complete the task asked of me and meet up with Michiba.
 
“Ah, looks like you didn’t know how to use it after all! Ahaha, my bad.”
 
“Tanaka?”
 
Tanaka was next to me. A soft, sweet scent drifted from her. It’s not an unpleasant smell. Very calming.
 
With a cheerful expression like at work, Tanaka started explaining to me.
 
“So, you take a glass, choose a drink you like, and just press the button!”
 
“I see, so I can just use it as I want. What a convenient machine.”
 
“Wait, have you never used one before? They’re at family restaurants too.”
 
“Is that so? I’ve never been to a family restaurant.”
 
“Huhhh!? Never!? Hey, let’s go together next time!”
 
“Uh, that’s…”
 
“If you don’t wanna it’s fine. Here, press this!”
 
“Oh, okay.”
 
I place a glass and press the button. I see, it’s simple enough a child could do it. The glass fills with carbonated juice.
 
Somehow, I felt like the unpleasant feelings floating inside me popped away like the bubbles.
 
“Alright, let’s head back!”
 
“Um, I…”
 
For now I followed behind Tanaka holding the juice.
 

 
When we returned to the room and I put the two juices on the table, Tanaka sitting on the sofa slapped the spot next to her. Her male friend looked at me too.
 
“Come on, Toudou join us for karaoke!”
 
“Hm? Rare to see Haru take a liking to someone. I’m cool with anything if it’s fine with her.”
 
Bu-but, Tanaka should be here on a date. I’d be a third wheel. Plus I have plans with Michiba.
 
“Sorry, I was invited by Michiba so I can’t join you for karaoke.”
 
“Aw really? That’s too bad but it can’t be helped.”
 
I wonder if she’ll invite me again?
 

 
I want to tell Tanaka I’d like to come with her next time, but I can’t find the right words.
 
“Thanks Toudou! See you at work!”
 
“Tch, thanks. We’ll have fun without ya.”
 
///
 

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scene transition
 

 

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The unpleasant guy takes some candy from his pocket and hands it to me.
 
…What is this? I sense something odd from him. He looks normal but his movements are efficient, no waste.
 
“Ah, thank you. I like candy so this makes me happy. Well then, excuse me. T-Tanaka, see you…next time.”
 
Tanaka waves energetically seeing me off. For some reason I’m filled with embarrassment.
 

 
I switch gears to search for Michiba and the others. Michiba isn’t in any of the boxes I check.
 
…Just when I thought I could interact with my classmates.
 
I’m bad at talking and poor at interpersonal skills.
 
Even when invited to karaoke, I hesitate thinking “Is it okay for someone like me to go?” and end up declining a lot.
 
I thought if it was through Michiba I could talk with my classmates, but they’ve probably already gone home.
 

 
–I wanted to experience karaoke…
 

 
I decided to leave the karaoke place. As I dejectedly walked out, I saw my classmates and Michiba in front of the karaoke shop.
 
They were pointing at me and laughing. Not a kind laughter. It was the unpleasant laugh I’ve experienced many times, ridiculing someone.
 

 
–Why?
 

 
“That guy totally fell for it. No way we’d invite a gloomy loner.”
 
“I mean, who’d go singing with someone you barely talk to?”
 
“Can’t believe he seriously waited two hours, you good?”
 
“….Was he always that type? Kinda different image in normal clothes…”
 
“It’s fine, he’s definitely into me… Heheh.”
 
“Rokka-san’s so popular!”
 
They think I can’t hear since they’re whispering.
 
But I have good hearing. And I’ve mastered lip reading. I hear them clearly.
 
–I…just wanted to go to karaoke with normal classmates. So I was really happy when Michiba invited me.
 
But in the end I just got made a fool of?
 
The warm feelings I held for Michiba as a classmate–
 
After the nice exchange with Tanaka earlier, my heart rapidly withers.
 
What I feel from them is malice. Harmless malice. They probably think it’s just a joke. I was never taught about this kind of thing at school.
 
The library with Michiba. The fun study sessions we had. Michiba reporting her test scores went up with a smile.
 
She was always bright and worried about me being alone.
 
An important classmate.
 
But to her I’m just a convenient boy who teaches her.
 
My chest hurts.
 
I thought I had made my first friend besides my childhood friend.
 
When we exchanged contact info on a messaging app, I was happy.
 
The meaningless chatter made me feel like I had a normal daily life.
 
If it hurts this much, I should just forget it all.
 

 
–Reset.
 

 
If I reset it as if it never happened, my heart won’t hurt.
 
I look up at the sky and concentrate my mind.
 
Switching gears mentally. Literally switching emotions.
 
I can let the malice from unimportant people wash over me. But malice from important people is sorrowful.
 
I rapidly recall all my memories with Michiba, ignoring the pain in my chest.
 
Condense all the emotions I felt interacting with Michiba.
 
And completely shatter that condensed essence.
 

 
–I reset my entire relationship with Michiba.
 

 
The pain deep in my chest disappears instantly, and I return to a flat mental state.
 
Reset all affection to zero.
 
This isn’t a metaphor. I can completely erase affection, memories, and emotion.
 
I won’t mistakenly erase memories like when I was a kid and messed up resetting.
 

 
Now then, I’ll stop by the supermarket on the way home and buy ingredients for dinner and tomorrow’s bento. I’ll make curry today.
 
Michiba and the others run up to me giggling.
 
“Haha, Sensei! It was just a joke. Come on, let’s go to the next karaoke place! We just wanted to test you. Oh, yeah, will you teach everyone else too? If I tell them your grades secret they’ll be eager to learn– “
 
“Yeah, let’s go!”
 
“Michiba told us, right? You’re actually smart!”
 
“Let’s do karaoke!”
 
I feel no warmth at all.
 
I don’t need this kind of stupid friendship.
 

 
“–Excuse me, I’m going home.”
 

 
Just then, Tanaka came out of the shop. Her face looked refreshed, like she relieved stress by singing. She waves when she sees me. I wave back. Seeing that, Tanaka looks satisfied and leaves with the guy somewhere.
 

Michiba had a stunned look on her face.
 

“Uh, huh? W-Why? Are you mad? I-It was just a joke, you know? Come on, Sensei, teach me, please?”
 
“Sorry. I won’t have anything to do with you anymore.”
 
“W-Wait a minute! Everyone gathered for your sake, you know! Hey, read the room…”
 
Reading the room. A crucial skill for modern high school students. It seems my grades are at the bottom.
 
“Oh, it’s my fault for leaving without considering your circumstances… I sincerely apologize. Excuse me, Michiba.”
 
“A- Toudou! Wait a moment!! I-I apologize, okay!”
 
People tend to get carried away.
 
It can’t be helped. We’re still high school students. We’ve only lived for seventeen years.
 
That’s why we don’t hesitate to hurt others. Because we don’t truly understand how much it hurts.
 

 
Even when apologizing, I know it’s just because they want me to teach them.
 
I’m just a convenient guy for Michiba. I’ve already reset that relationship.
 
“You don’t need to apologize. I don’t feel anything even if you say that.”
 
“Wha, why’re you being so cold…You liked me, right!? That’s why you taught me, right!”
 
“Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean. When I look at you I feel nothing.”
 
“S-Sensei, your face, it’s scary…”
 
“Please don’t call me that.”
 
Michiba looks shocked hearing my words.
 
But I don’t feel anything seeing her make that face. My heart won’t hurt anymore. Because I’ve reset all my feelings for Michiba.
 
Any more interaction is meaningless.
 
I start walking, ignoring Michiba.
 

 
My mind is occupied with making a grocery list for dinner.
 

I suddenly remember the candy in my pocket. I put the candy in my mouth. It’s sweet but for some reason I taste saltiness…

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