Episode 1 – Childhood Friend Hanazono Hana
The first time I ate the onigiri my childhood friend made for me…I was moved by how delicious it was, I felt something welling up from my chest.
[Hanazono: I see you smiling now. It’s the first time I’ve seen your face like that.]
My childhood friend next to me was laughing at my reaction.
The end of school bell rings. Today I finished school without talking to anyone, as usual.
I’m always alone in the classroom.
As the classroom bustles around me, I get lost in thought.
I, Toudou Tsuyoshi, went to a special elementary school.
…Due to various circumstances, I started going to a local middle school.
Most students at my local middle school came from the local elementary school.
So I wasn’t able to make any friends. Or rather, I was never taught how to make friends.
I made it to high school second year without having any friends.
–That weird kid with no common sense whose head is messed up.
That’s how my classmates evaluate me.
Some eccentric girls still approach me.
My childhood friend from kindergarten, the class president from my class, an energetic underclassman, and a girl from my part-time job.
Even if I interact with them, I know they are just using me. There’s no reason for them to treat me kindly.
But I don’t really care about that. My relationships with them are one of the few things that allow me to feel like I’m having a normal school life.
From them, I was able to learn about the school caste system, intricacies of relationships, and adolescent youth.
I walk home together every day with my childhood friend who I played with until kindergarten, Hanazono Hana.
When I walk home with her, we always have to stop and get a snack. I make sure to pay, reading the situation.
Sometimes I accompany her shopping and carry her bags. Sometimes I go with her to scary movies she can’t watch alone.
On nights when she can’t sleep, I stay on long phone calls with her. I’ve helped tutor her for tests and done homework together.
Even though I was uninterested in romance, through her I was able to understand a little about relationships between men and women.
If I’m not mistaken, she is interested in me. And I’m also attracted to her, I think.
At least that’s how I saw our relationship.
“Hm, it’s about time.”
I sense the neighboring class’s homeroom ending.
I stop my train of thought and stand up from my seat. I have plans to walk home with my childhood friend Hanazono again today.
The hallways overflow with noisy students. I don’t mind being alone among the commotion. It allows me to feel like I’m living a normal school life.
As I go to enter the neighboring classroom, I hear voices.
Hanazono was talking with her girl friends.
“Huh, isn’t Hana-chan dating Toudou-kun?”
“And isn’t Hana-chan too cute for him anyway?”
“Yeah he’s so plain. Don’t you think she’s interested in other guys?”
I clearly hear Hanazono’s voice chime in.
“Uh, oh, um, yes! The guy I’m interested in is the basketball club’s Midosuji-senpai! Ah, a guy like him is just a convenient childhood friend I hang out with as a courtesy! He’s just a convenient boy I can use!”
“I knew it-“
“Midosuji-senpai is so cool!”
I knock on the classroom door, knock knock. Then I enter the classroom.
“Excuse me. Hanazono, shall we not walk home today?”
I hear Hanazono’s surprised voice yell “Ehh!?”
The girls stop their conversation.
“Ah–, uh no! I’m coming now. Um, uh, about what I just said–“
“Pfft, your convenient boy is here.”
“Idiot, he can hear you.”
“No way he can hear us.”
–I have good hearing so I heard everything. But I guess I should pretend I didn’t, like a normal student?
“Hey, quiet down…Jeez, I’ll see you guys again tomorrow!”
Hanazono waved goodbye to her friends.
Hanazono and I walk home together almost every day. She’s my childhood friend from kindergarten who I reunited with when starting middle school.
Thanks to Hanazono, I was able to learn about school life despite being taciturn and ignorant of common sense.
“Hey, um, did you hear what I said earlier?”
“Earlier? I don’t know.”
Hanazono looked into my face as she asked.
I guess it’s best to pretend I didn’t hear anything inconvenient.
That’s what a convenient boy would do.
And I should hide the fact that I had any feelings for her.
Forget about it. She likes that Midosuji-senpai guy.
…Human relationships sure are complicated. I don’t understand them at all. I was certain Hanazono liked me.
–Ah, it’s always like this. Just [Reset] the unpleasant things and re-learn.
We walk in silence. For some reason the air feels heavier than usual.
Hanazono fidgets nervously beside me. It seems like she wants to say something but is hesitating.
Hanazono takes something out of her bag.
“Um, hey, this–“
It was a love letter wrapped in cute packaging.
I see, so a so-called love letter. Indeed, I’m a convenient boy. I have good intuition. Just last week a girl in class asked me to pass a love letter to Samejima-kun.
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It must be the same. She wants me to pass it to the upperclassman she has feelings for, Midosuji-senpai.
For just a moment, I feel a pain in my chest.
I don’t understand what kind of pain it is,
because I’ve erased that kind of pain so many times.
Over and over, again and again, I’ve [Reset] and erased the pain from my heart.
Erasing the emotions inside me that cause a painful feeling in my heart.
That’s [Reset].
When I was little I got headaches because I couldn’t [Reset] well, but now I’m fine.
The side effect is my past memories are extremely vague….
But there are still some things left recorded in my head as memories.
I gaze at Hanazono’s face intently, burning it into my mind one last time.
This must have been my first love. Without even understanding feelings of love, I had opened my heart spending time with the cheerful Hanazono.
“W-what’s with that face…”
Hanazono looked away shyly. I can sense the feeling of affection, but it’s not directed at me.
It was aimed at someone else.
My chest tightened. An unpleasant feeling welled up inside me, extremely painful. This is unbearable. I really can’t live a normal life after all. I hate feeling this awful.
So I–
Reset all the feelings I had towards her.
“W-what’s wrong, Tsuyoshi!? Your face is completely pale!”
I stand still, looking up at the sky. My heartbeat returns to normal. My body temperature drops. My heart feels empty. I don’t feel anything anymore.
The memories I shared with Hanazono remain as memories. In an instant, I erased all the [affection] I had slowly developed for Hanazono over many long years.
This isn’t a metaphor or joke. It’s real.
I don’t have any lingering feelings left for Hanazono inside me now at all.
To me now, Hanazono is like a stranger.
“Ah, I see. I should pass this to him? I’m often asked to pass things so there’s no problem.”
Hanazono stops walking.
She looks bewildered at my face. My tone of voice must be different than usual.
“Huh? Oh, what are you saying? And your face is so scary…”
“It’s alright. I may be unskilled at personal relationships, but I will do my best.”
Hanazono looks troubled but also embarrassed.
“Hehe…you’ll accept it?”
“Yes, I properly complete requested tasks.”
“Hm? Well, alright~! Let’s keep getting along from now on too!”
“Yes, pardon me, but I will go pass this to Midosuji-senpai right away. Excuse me.”
I run off.
I hear Hanazono’s scream from behind.
“Whaaat!? Ah, you! Wait a minute!”
She must be shy. But it doesn’t concern me anymore.
Because I’ve completely reset all of my feelings of affection for Hanazono–
After that day, I stopped walking home with Hanazono.
When I saw Midosuji-senpai’s face as I handed him Hanazono’s love letter, I figured it would work out successfully. He was quite a handsome guy.
…Human relationships sure are complicated. Back in elementary school all I had to do was study and sports.
One day, Hanazono barged into my classroom with incredible momentum.
When she spotted me, she glared sharply. Voice shaking, Hanazono said to me:
“Y-y-you! Why did you give the love letter I gave you to Midosuji-senpai! That was for you! Are you stupid!? I-it took a lot of courage to work up! A-and why don’t you walk home with me anymore…you don’t contact me either…”
…What is she talking about? I don’t understand the situation.
“In the classroom, I heard you talking with your friends about how you [like Midosuji-senpai]. And I heard I’m just your convenient childhood friend. So I assumed you asked me to pass it to Midosuji-senpai.”
“Huh!? I never said anything like that to you!! ……Unbelievable. Sniff, sniff, j-just when I thought we could be together…”
“I’m seen as a convenient guy. –Hanazono would suit someone better.”
–I also had feelings her, but I [reset] them. Now, I just see her as a classmate.
Exposed to the curious eyes of our classmates. If this continues, weird rumors about Hanazono might spread.
I bow my head firmly, sincerely apologizing.
“–I see. I’m very sorry. I won’t go near you again. Please accept my sincere apologies…”
“Wha…it was just a misunderstanding so…let’s walk home together again…okay?”
–The same time won’t come back. I can’t cause any more trouble because of my lack of common sense.
“–Understood. If you feel like it, call out to me.”
“Ah….could it be? Don’t tell me you did that Reset thing again…”
Hanazono’s face was pale. An unbridgeable distance between us now.
Ah, human relationships really are so difficult.
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Childhood friend took the L
Yoo thats painful , for our MC
Sometimes. I really want those tsundere heroines in most anime or manga to experience this.
Eyy I can’t say the childhood friend was not at fault but mc took things too fast…. ;v;
I know cuz girls are like that. They sometimes too shy to admit their feelings.
This seems like a bad ending of a manga oneshot I read long ago…
Just because he reset, it shouldn’t mean that he can just say something like “oh this isn’t my problem even if i misunderstood you” to a stranger and also when that the fault may come from him… he is just being a scum here.
This is just as if a beautiful girl you don’t know come and want to go out with you but you just say f*ck off not my problem. That’s forced bruh.
just continue reading, it’ll be explained later. Basically this mc is brain damaged
What an interesting premise. Also since he went to a special elementary school, does that mean he has superpowers or is he on the spectrum? Well regardless, he’s still an interesting character.
Thanks for the chapter!