Bastard Swordsman Chapter 11

**Portable Rations and Wasteful Spending**

When the harvest season ends, the prices of grains plummet dramatically.

And what happens then is the cost of stuff like porridge and bread decreases just a little.

I should have glad to hear that. But the truth is I’m not at all happy about the fact.

That’s becase the carbohydrates in this world aren’t delicious. It’s not that I want white rice specifically because I was Japanese in my past life. French bread or naan would be fine if they existed.

This is already a world lacking in entertainment. At least let me eat delicious stuff.

“So this is the portable rations Mongrel made?”

“Yeah. Call it Mongrelstick 3.”

“That’s just a plainly disgusting name…”

“Maybe something more appetizing?…”

“Isn’t it too much of a mess before you even put it in your mouth?”

“Think about the feelings of the person eating this while picturing your face.”

A taste-testing event hosted by me is being held in the guild’s bar space.

The participants are spear user Barlgar and swordsman Alex, two people.

Alex is a former Halpherian army soldier who, after retiring, has taken on numerous missions with his army-trained longsword skills. He’s a young silver rank who’s come close enough to gold rank that it’s not just a dream anymore. A symbol of hope.

I also invited receptionist Elena but she properly refused me. I’m sad.

What’s on the table looks similar to energy bars I often… no, sometimes ate in my previous life. It’s portable rations made with those as reference. The main ingredients are wheat flour and various nuts, with added oil, honey, spices, salt, baked into square sticks. Kinda like granola bars.

It was great that Barlgar and Alex who happened to be free at the guild bar were there. I’m planning to have them review the taste and such for now.

“Hey Mongrel. Don’t you think this won’t fill you up much? It’s small.”

“With the high nut content, it may provide some satiation, but this size is concerning for a single serving…”

“Ah, so it’s like that huh. I’m thinking 4 bars would be around one meal. Anyway, try eating some first.”

“…I don’t know man. Just from holding it I can tell it’s hard. Is this really okay?”

Barlgar picked up two Mongrelsticks from the plate and tapped them, making a clear ringing sound like porcelain. It has a pleasant sound as portable food.

“Mongrel, did you try eating this yourself?”

“What is it Alex, doubting me?”

“After being made to eat your raw homemade jerky last time, I’m quite strongly doubtful…?”

“Don’t dwell in the past, live facing forward?”

The two who were still hesitating, I generously bought ales for.

“…What is this.”

“Don’t just silently buy us drinks… it’s creepy.”

“No deep meaning. Use that to wash it down while you eat. It doesn’t taste bad, really.”

“Well, since it’s free I’ll at least eat a little…”

Ignoring Barlgar making a disgusted face, Alex bit into a Mongrelstick… and froze.

“It’s… it’s hard… my teeth won’t… bite…”

“Did you hear a hard sound when Alex bit it just now?”

“That’s why I said soak it in ale, it’ll soften up. A little.”

YOU ARE READING STOLEN TRANSLATION. READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM

The two silently soaked the sticks in ale and waited around 10 seconds.
Thinking it should be fine now, Alex pulled it out ahead of the other and bit again, and this time there was no hard sound.
…But he still couldn’t bite through it.

“Ngg… I can kind of eat the outermost layer… very tentatively.”

“How’s the taste?”

“It tastes like ale porridge…”

I want the review without factoring in the ale taste right now.

“Jeez, Mongrel’s up to more weird stuff huh. Copying Viscount Chaos? There’s a bunch of guys mimicking him all over lately so you should quit it. No one’s profiting much from it.”

“It is an invention boom. Well, various stores are thriving from it so I understand wanting to mimic it.”

“I wanna get this Mongrelstick recognized as the official Halpherian army field ration. And then use that money to become a cafe master who just polishes glasses at the counter.”

“Why does getting rich end with you becoming a cafe owner?”

“If the army adopted these rations, the soldiers might break their teeth before fighting enemies…”

It’s fine, it should work if you reinforce your teeth with mana. Just reinforce your front teeth and it’ll be good.

“But still, you made more mysterious stuff again…”

“There’s around 40 right…? Just the material costs must have been considerable, right?”

“Can’t say. I won’t say the price unless you guys praise these Mongrelsticks.”

“How much did you blow on this… you really overdid it this time.”

“Did you overbake them? They’re sinking to the bottom of the ale but show no signs of crumbling.”

Ahh. I thought buying in bulk would be cheap, and I could eat carbs to my tastes daily, but who knew they’d turn out this hard. They’re probably firmer than bad wood.

“It’s good you’re playing inventor Mongrel, but will you be okay for money? You haven’t been taking many subjugation quests lately right?”

“Don’t say playing. Yeah, just city cleaning.”

“You’re still doing that, Mr. Mongrel?”

“Let’s keep this city clean, forevermore.”

“Is that some kind of chant…?”

“Mr. Mongrel, you waste a lot as is, so shouldn’t you hurry and accept some bigger requests?”

“I don’t waste that much do I? I don’t gamble.”

“But you periodically buy weird weapons.”

Hey, calling my weapons weird things.

“What’s weird about it. Can you say that after seeing this? It’s my new buddy knife I found at the market 2 months ago!”

“That just proves you’re wasting money!”

Bang, I placed a knife on the table.

It has about the same length as a butchering knife, but the thick blade is visible even in the sheath.

“…Huh, what’s this. A comb?”

“You don’t know, Barlgar? That’s called a sword breaker, a combat knife.”

What Barlgar drew from the sheath was a thick-bladed knife engraved with multiple long comb-like notches along the side.

“You use these comb parts to receive the enemy’s sword and then snap! Twist hard, and oh how mysterious, it can snap the enemy’s sword. The ultimate anti-swordsman weapon.”

“Uh… would that really work well…?”

“The blade is too thick so it can barely cut, only stab as a knife.”

“Isn’t that way too big a weakness? And Mongrel, you don’t accept requests against people right?”

“Getting sprayed with human blood and stuff is gross.”

“Then why’d you buy a knife like this… No, Mr. Mongrel, about these comb parts-“

Noticing something, Alex drew the longsword he brought leaning against the wall.

The longswords adopted by the Halpherian army are long.

For soldiers who can enhance their bodies, the criteria for adopting longswords is the longest possible reach to slash distant opponents rather than weight. So the swords with the maximum length that can be equipped and carried without trouble are called longswords and used all over.

And because of that length, the thickness is considerable as well…

“Ah, see! I knew it! This so-called sword breaker, the longsword can’t even fit in the comb parts to begin with!”

“No way!?”

“You can see just by looking… it’d barely fit a decent short sword right?”

“My sword breaker was meant for small fry…”

“…By the way, Mr. Mongrel, how much did you pay for this so-called sword breaker?”

“Can’t say…! Not in this flow…!”

Damn. Then I have no choice but to grate crazy boar ribs and necks with the combs on this sword breaker.

“…Oh. The stuff at the bottom of the ale got pretty soft.”

“Oh yeah? Can’t be helped, I’ll disintegrate it into a porridge-like thing and drink it.”

“Haven’t I been ragged on a bit much today…?”

“…If there’s a good request I’ll invite you.”

“I will too if there’s a chance…”

By the way, we agreed that the taste of Mongrelstick dissolved in ale isn’t bad per se, but if you’re using ale you might as well just drink the alcohol straight. Truly nothing good happened today. Unlucky day?


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