Bastard Swordsman Chapter 3

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Food in Another World

The food here is gross.

That sums up this world’s entire culinary scene, and I say that with no exaggeration whatsoever.

The dietary staples in this country are either porridge or bread.

But both taste bad. The bread is like black bread, or mixed grain, not fluffy refined bread. The porridge isn’t made with white rice either, but uses grain like oats as the base. It has a really jarring texture when you eat it.

The soups also aren’t very tasty. They just lack depth of flavor. The savory umami components are sparse.

They probably try to bring out savoriness with bits of meat and beans here, but the taste is plain. I want consomme cubes. It seems they’re just barely getting by on saltiness.

Don’t even get me started on the salads. Some ingredients taste pretty good, but since they’re not actively breeding better varieties, to me it’s just kinda like “weeds?”

If you say my palate is too refined, I can’t deny that.

I’m a modern person. Of course my tongue complains. I’ve gotten somewhat used to the tastes here to some extent, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the old flavors.

However, there is tasty food even in this world.


“Gimme the meat!”


I nimbly dodge the crazy boar’s charge and slash its throat from the side in a flash. Dark blood gushes from the deep laceration.

Subjugation of the crazy boar, a type of boar known for its maddened charging that causes extensive damage.

Whenever a request comes in for this guy who’s gored to death countless novice guildsmen who underestimated it as just a wild pig, I secretly pump my fist.

Because this crazy boar meat is pretty darn tasty.

“Gotta drain the blood! Gotta remove the guts!”

The nearby forest has streams running through it in several places. I lightly heave the crazy boar’s nearly 100 kilo carcass into the river.

At the same time, I rip its belly open lengthwise with my bastard sword and scoop out the organs. Of the organs, I’ll eat the liver and heart. There are other edible organs, but I discard them because they’re a pain to prepare and I don’t like the taste.

Nowadays I’m used to work that would make a modern person hesitate.

Hunger can give people surprising fortitude. For delicious food, I’ll gladly hack away all the meat I need.

“There we go, that’ll do, that’ll do…”

Aside from the organs, I also take the flank meat and tongue. This plump tongue is irresistible.

I hear they have pig’s feet and such, but I don’t know how to prepare those so I haven’t tried. Brains freak me out too.

My standard is if it tastes good salted and grilled, it’s approved.

With just some salt and grilling, it becomes incredibly delicious, so it’s convenient. Far better than bland crops or processed food.

That’s why I eagerly take on requests for meat-dropping monsters. The battles themselves are easy too. Like convenient quests that tell me where to find feasts.

“Mm, yum.”


I divide the meat into some I’ll eat on site, some I’ll smoke, and some I’ll bring home.

The organs are a hunter’s bonus, so I quickly partake. Especially liver, which has a flavor that seems to provide nutrients I’m missing from not eating many vegetables.

I’d rather keep the tongue to myself than give it away. The back meat is tasty too, so I quickly claim that.

The leg meat travels well and is just the right size to peddle, so I take that to bring home. It earns me a bit of money, and serves my hobbyist purposes too.

I have to admit, my knife skills aren’t that great.

That’s why I do this work while camping in the forest. Nighttime forests have roaming monsters normally, but for meat I’ll give it my all, so it’s not an issue.

…I want sauce. I need sauce, gimme sauce.

But I don’t even know how to make soy sauce, so there’s no way I can whip up sauce. At best I can make herb-infused salt to sprinkle on.

I miss demi-glace. I don’t care about rice, just give me sauce!

“Oh, Mongrel? You took down something big again huh.”

Returning from the hunt, the usual gatekeeper calls out to me boredly.

I’ve got a carrying pole with meat slabs over my shoulder. The very image of a triumphant hunter.

“Deliveryyy, want some meeeat?”

“A butcher! Gahaha!”

“We make deliveries like this, sir. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah. Mongrel the butcher, back from local hunts? Let me see your tag… Yup, got it. But next time, come in through the trade entrance.”

“No way. I can handle the butchering myself rather than asking the dismantlers.”

The city gates usually have a trade entrance for bringing in supplies and such.

It’s convenient since there’s a dismantling station right inside where you can bring monster corpses from nearby subjugation quests.

Rather than do the messy work yourself, you can pay them to handle it.

But then they always nag me with “What about the pelt?” And when I say “It was a pain so I disposed of it,” they look at me funny. Honestly, I hate going through that gate. Unless I’ve got a huge pile of bodies that I really can’t process myself, I won’t use the place.

I want the meat for myself, so I’ll do my own dismantling. No objections allowed.

“You’re one odd guy. Gonna switch to being a butcher?”

“It’s crossed my mind.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, work using my brawn suits me more.”

“I’d think so. If you can wrestle a crazy boar solo, being a guildsman’s gotta be best for you.”

I mean, it’s not like I couldn’t be a butcher or something.

But I’ve got these neat gifts, might as well make moderate use of them for fun.

“Oh, I smoked some meat in the forest. Here’s a souvenir.”

“Nice! I’ll take it! Cheers as always!”

“Make sure to share it with everyone. Don’t wanna cause any fights.”

It’s also important to get along with the gatekeepers.

Not that I’m bribing them for anything shady. It just doesn’t hurt to be friendly with these job guys day-to-day.

If they recognize my face, it’ll be quick and easy to pass during busy times or even squeeze through right before they shut the gates at night.

It’s also convenient in some ways if I’m seen as just an average brawny guildsman.

“Off to the bar again huh.”

“Yo! Let’s drink again sometime!”

Now then, after reporting the subjugation, time to quickly turn the meat to food.

With plenty of meat, even gross bread and soup become a feast.

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