Chapter 5 – Nunnaly-Baldia
Nunnaly was unaware of the name of her illness, as it was described as an unknown disease. However, she immediately grasped the gravity of the situation. Every day, she felt an incessant drain on her body, as if something vital was slowly seeping away, akin to water trickling through a crack in a glass.
The illness struck without warning, starting with fatigue that initially made her suspect a common cold or exhaustion. But within a few days, she became completely bedridden.
Her husband, Reiner, utilized his position as a margrave to do everything in his power to help. Yet, no doctor could determine the cause or name of the illness. It was uncertain whether they were unaware or deliberately keeping it a secret, either at Reiner’s behest or the doctors’ discretion.
As Reiner became busier with his work in the capital, his visits to her room became less frequent.
Nonetheless, he remained attentive, writing her a letter every day. He sought to keep her informed about his experiences in the capital and the state of affairs outside the mansion, knowing she was confined to her room. Reading his letters, Nunnaly couldn’t help but smile at his unexpectedly tender gestures.
However, on occasion, Nunnaly sensed that Reiner was avoiding personal encounters through his letters. She knew he loved her deeply, but perhaps it was precisely because of that love that he couldn’t bear to witness her suffering from the terminal illness.
Just as Reiner loved her, Nunnaly loved him. That’s why she refused to reveal her weakening state to him. She made sure not to complain or display any signs of weakness in her letters.
Nunnaly resolved firmly not to succumb to this inexplicable illness.
Every day, she pondered if there was anything she could do to prevent her body from deteriorating further. She focused on the sensation of water gradually draining away, and somehow, she felt that the trickle became slower, though it could have been her imagination.
Since then, whenever she was awake, Nunnaly concentrated solely on the sensation of water droplets. Even as she drifted off to sleep, she maintained her focus until the very last moment. Consequently, her mornings became increasingly tormenting. Waking from fitful slumber, her heart raced, and even breathing felt burdensome. The daily ordeal intensified. However, all she could do was channel her energy into delaying the inevitable release of those few drops of water.
Whenever Nunnaly thought of Reed and Mel, her heart swelled with emotion. Reed was an exceptionally bright child. He grasped the meaning of texts quickly when reading picture books, often memorizing the content after a single reading.
He possessed an uncanny ability to sense people’s gazes and discern the atmosphere in a room. Reed effortlessly performed small physical tasks, displaying remarkable physical aptitude. Nunnaly might have been biased as a doting mother, but she believed Reed was born with “innate talent.”
As Nunnaly’s illness progressed, Reed’s fifth birthday approached. Unfortunately, Reed became aware of his mother’s impending demise, contrary to her hopes for his “innate talent.” He likely intuited that there was no way to avert the inevitable.
No matter how radiant Nunnaly’s smile, no matter how much she called out to him, no matter how desperately she read him picture books, Reed’s expression remained unyielding. Eventually, Reed stopped coming to her room.
In Reed’s absence, Mel took his place, albeit constantly in tears. Nunnaly heard that Reed had grown unruly and vented his frustrations on Mel.
At that moment, Nunnaly embraced Mel tightly, weeping and apologizing, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Mel might not have comprehended why her mother was crying, but she could sense Nunnaly’s sorrow and joined in the tears, pleading, “Mama, don’t leave.”
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From that day forward, Mel visited Nunnaly’s room without fail. Perhaps seeking solace away from the tumultuous environment with Reed. Each time Mel entered the room, Nunnaly’s heart constricted. Why did this illness have to corrode even the hearts of her beloved children? Every day, Nunnaly wept, burdened by regret, but she endured it all because fighting against the illness was the only thing she could do.
After enduring countless days, one day Nunnaly received news from her maid, Danae, that Reed had collapsed in the garden. Nunnaly yearned to rush to his side immediately, but her weakened state prevented her body from obeying. Anxious, she lay in bed, awaiting the report. Later that day, Danae returned with the news that Reed had regained consciousness, relieving Nunnaly and lifting a weight from her chest. However, Danae mentioned that Reed seemed different. His roughness had dissipated, and he appeared remarkably composed, as if conversing with an adult.
Though Nunnaly desired to witness Reed’s transformed state firsthand, she had resigned herself to the possibility that he would never come. Yet, the next day, Reed visited her room. Upon seeing Nunnaly’s face, he burst into tears, hastily wiping them away with his sleeve. Concerned, Nunnaly inquired about his well-being and attempted to approach him, but her body refused, and she succumbed to a fit of coughing. In that moment, Reed exclaimed, “Mother!” and leaned in, gently patting her back.
Nunnaly was taken aback by Reed’s changed demeanor, starkly distinct from before. It was as if a weight had been lifted off him, and he radiated brightness, once again donning his familiar smile. Before leaving the room, he firmly grasped Nunnaly’s hand.
After Reed departed, Nunnaly wept in solitude.
Nunnaly was overjoyed that Reed had emerged from his desolation.
Yet, she couldn’t suppress her concern that the illness would once again steal his smile, just as it had stolen her from him. With that apprehension, tears streamed down Nunnaly’s face once more.
A few days later, Mel arrived as usual. Though Mel knew that Reed had collapsed and regained consciousness in the garden, there was still no inclination to see him. However, Nunnaly was confident that Reed would no longer treat Mel harshly. Fueled by that conviction, she made a request of Mel.
“Mel, could you please go and see Reed and tell me how he is? Can you do that for me?”
“Huh!? No way… Nii-chan is scary…”
Initially, Mel resisted, but Nunnaly persisted, mentioning Reed’s doesn’t leave his room for a reason. Reluctantly, Mel agreed and set out to find Reed. The following day, Mel returned to Nunnaly with a gleeful expression. He happily exclaimed, “Nii-chan read me so many picture books!” From then on, Reed no longer treated Mel unkindly.
As Nunnaly listened to Mel and Danae’s accounts, she became certain. Reed, who had been plagued by mental and emotional distress due to his mother’s condition, had found solace. He was now striving to guide the family toward a more positive path. Quietly, Nunnaly mustered her determination, transcending any thoughts of surrender.
“Should I give up…? Even though Reed has recovered, as his mother, I cannot allow myself to be defeated by illness or anything else. I will undoubtedly overcome it”
Nunnaly muttered to herself, her voice trembling, alone on the bed.
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