“…………Huh?”
…What did she just say?
“What’s wrong?”
“What did you just… say?”
My heart raced, and anticipation filled my mind, washing everything with whiteness, an overwhelming whiteness.
Perceiving my unusual behavior, Yuki tilted her head in confusion.
“It’s the name of the illness I had. [WM-8 chronic myocardial dysfunction]. Are you familiar with it?”
“───────”
I held my breath.
“It’s a heart disease. A minor ailment caused by magical factors accumulating and stagnating in the heart… Rain, you probably don’t know, right? It’s a rare disease!”
Yuki’s voice grew louder, and she began speaking with pride.
“It’s a disease for which a treatment was established about 40 years ago! Until then, it was believed to be a cardiac problem, but it turned out to be related to magical factors! And a genius, just 25 years old, discovered the treatment! That day, the medical world was shaken!”
She seemed to relish sharing her knowledge and spoke with joy.
I… couldn’t say anything.
“How about that!?”
She laughed.
“You didn’t know, did you!?”
“…………”
Yuki had researched and studied her own illness. She acted like an older sister, despite me being the older one. She shared the fruits of her research with her subordinate and laughed.
laughing.
She laughed.
And she kept laughing.
“…I don’t know anything.”
I didn’t know anything. That’s right…
“I don’t know anything…!”
That illness was mine…!
“I don’t know anything…! Anything…!”
My voice quivered. My body trembled. Every inch of me shook.
Heat surged from within my chest. Intense heat poured out from the emptiness within me.
I had never heard the name of Yuki’s illness. I despised illnesses. If they were completely cured, if they disappeared, there was no point in knowing about them.
She laughed proudly.
Her illness had been completely cured, and she laughed with pride.
Yuki was alive, smiling happily.
———————————————-
Tears spilled from my eyes.
They were hot tears, different from the cold ones shed just moments ago. The previous tears were like snow, freezing my heart.
These tears, however, were scorching.
“Uuuhhhh…………”
“Huh…?”
“Uuuuhhhhhh……!”
Tears flowed down, tracing my cheeks and falling onto the floor. My vision distorted. The girl with pale hair looked surprised. My sudden outburst of tears caught her off guard. Despite my vision being blurred by tears, her expression was clear. Large tears overflowed endlessly.
“Uuuuhhhhhhh……!”
She was right in front of me.
The success that I had felt empty about …she was right in front of me.
“W-What’s wrong? Are you scared? It’s okay! Look! It’s not a serious illness at all. Look, look, I’m fine!”
Yuki waved her hand uncertainly.
No, that’s not it. That’s not it, Yuki.
It was a serious illness. It had a high mortality rate. It might have affected only a few people, but it was undeniably a severe illness…
“I might die… like that…”
…It was terrifying,
“A dangerous… illness…”
…that’s what it was!
Yuki approached me. Concerned about my tears, she touched my shoulder and looked at me with worry. I couldn’t control myself. Overwhelmed by an uncontrollable impulse, I clung to her. I held onto her tightly, hiding my tears.
“Huh…?”
Yuki trembled slightly, and her concern reached me. But it lasted only for a moment. She quickly wrapped her arm around my head and embraced me. She tried to act like an older sister, stroking my head.
“What’s the matter? It’s okay, you know? I’m not dead.”
“Uuuuhhhhh……!”
My tears wet her.
───I was saved.
The success that I had thought was empty… it had truly saved her right in front of me. Her small body pulsated, radiating warmth, and firmly engraved life. It didn’t lose to the illness, it didn’t yield to the “specialness,” her heart undeniably beat.
I’m glad… I’m glad…
That’s all I could think of.
“Uwaaaaa……”
“Yes, yes, it’s okay, right? Illnesses aren’t scary, you know? Big sister is okay, you know?”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaa……!”
I cried out loudly. I couldn’t help but raise my voice. Yuki probably misunderstood. She likely thought I was crying out of fear of the illness.
No, that’s not it. What filled my chest was “relief.”
I saved her. I saved the life of the girl in front of me.
No…
───I was the one who was saved.
I had been walking through life with no purpose, feeling empty, and now, the world had turned upside down. My life had been rewarded in a dramatic way.
———————————————-
As always, the void within me remained unfilled. It would never be filled. It’s something that will remain empty throughout my lifetime.
But I was saved. Now, I can cry on her shoulder.
Her body was so warm.
“Yes, yes, it can’t be helped, right, Rain… I’ll stay by your side…”
“Uuuh, uuuuhhhhhh……!”
I continued to cry. I cried ceaselessly. While being held in her arms, I tightly grasped her clothes and wept.
The snow continued to fall silently, emitting a radiant white glow.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
———————————————-
Looking back, it was a journey filled with suffering. I continued to walk that path, weak and weary, treading the path called life.
My “specialness” continued to torment me. It easily hurt me, played with me like a storm, and no matter how much I resisted, it was an unyielding mist.
Looking back, I hurt many people.
Filling this void was the purpose of my life. I believed that if I didn’t fill this void, I would never find peace.
And life defeated me. Wherever I went, the never-ending pain shattered my will.
“Normalcy” is a painful thing, as my father from a past life used to say.
According to my father, the colleague of my father from a past life, who became the catalyst for me to seek a cure for the illness, seemed like an ordinary person. He was an ordinary human with ordinary abilities, who suffered in an ordinary way and left no significant mark before his death, as my father described it.
Being intelligent was considered a blessing, being a genius was seen as a blessing, my father used to tell me. He would often say not to become a weak ordinary person who couldn’t leave a lasting impact. Perhaps he had witnessed the final moments of that deceased man, and the fear had imprinted itself on my father’s mind.
My father feared “normalcy.”
…But that wasn’t true. “Normalcy” was a blessing. I yearned to be “normal.”
Yet, if that man had truly suffered because he was an ordinary person… If being ordinary was painful… If both being “special” and being “normal” were sources of anguish…
Where should I go?
As if shaking off my anxieties, I believed that by filling the void, I could find happiness, and so I continued to fight.
…I fought and fought, only to be defeated by life.
———————————————-
…The night was about to give way to dawn.
Yuki lay beside me, peacefully asleep in her hospital bed. I sat on the chair in her room, spending the night there.
During that night, I had cried while clinging to her. Reflecting on it now, I feel a sense of embarrassment. My cheeks flush with warmth at the memory.
But in that moment, before my tears could subside, she fell asleep. Overwhelmed by drowsiness while offering me solace, she easily succumbed to a deep slumber. She lent me her shoulder and listened to my cries!
I was genuinely astonished.
Is this where people normally sleep!?
Rarely did I question people’s conventional behavior.
Regardless, I carefully carried her, who had fallen asleep, searched for her hospital room, gently placed her on the bed, and while listening to the tranquil rhythm of her breathing, I sat on a nearby chair, intending to take a short break… but I ended up falling asleep as well.
The night was on the verge of turning into dawn.
“Um…”
Yuki murmured softly, slowly sitting up. She glanced around, trying to make sense of the situation with her still-foggy mind.
“…Huh? Rain?”
“…………”
With sleepy eyes, she called out to me. I feel a pang of embarrassment. Although we were still young, it wasn’t appropriate to spend the night in a woman’s room.
“…Are you feeling better?”
“…Yeah.”
I responded with a sleepy “yeah” to her groggy words. Despite my exhaustion and lack of energy just the day before… I couldn’t help but want to answer her question.
The insurmountable problem that had plagued me for decades had vanished, and without a logical explanation, I found solace. My suffering hadn’t been resolved… the void within me remained unfilled… but still, I found peace.
She granted it to me.
“I wonder what’s for breakfast?”
“…I wonder.”
In Yuki’s hospital room, she seemed oblivious to any doubts, still half asleep.
“I want house full of sweets…”
“That… would upset my stomach…”
Why does she desire to consume something like that in the morning? It’s unlikely to be served as hospital food, and frankly, it’s not a common breakfast option anywhere.
She giggled, seemingly lost in the idea of devouring a gingerbread house. In that state of half-dreaming, half-reality, she laughed with unadulterated joy.
Her happiness was ever-present. Admiration overflowed from the depths of my empty heart. I yearned to be like her.
“Oh, by the way, I haven’t told you yet.”
“…Hmm?”
Yuki’s mouth opened wide in surprise.
“Good morning, Rain.”
“…Yeah, good morning.”
Yuki burst into laughter once again, and I couldn’t help but reciprocate with a smile.
Morning arrived. The sun emerged, and the sky displayed its clarity.
───Today, my world cleared up.
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thanks for the chapter. I was really happy when a new chap was translated, thanks!